title: past and future, part6
author: callisto24
fandom: 24
charakters: Jack, Tony, Chase, Michelle, Kim, Chloe, Morris...
category: drama, m/m slash
theme: I intended to fill the gaps between the seasons in a slashy, smutty, angsty way...
Jack between Chase and Tony... rating: NC-17
disclaimer: nothing belongs to me, no money made ....
warnings: not my native language, unbetaed, probably contains horrible grammatical and language mistakes...
corrections are always very welcome :)
besides: contains character's deaths, depressing topics, drug abuse, graphig slash scenes, non-con, violence... it's long and I finished it while watching the start of Season6

 
still there?
 
Have fun!!! ;)
 
* * * * *
 
Part6:

 
follows Season6: * * * * *

 
* * * * * “You ‘ve changed your hair.”
Chase carefully touched the now short dark- blond strands, causing here and there silver threads to sparkle, still barely noticeable. “You sound like... .”
An uncomfortable break was created.
“Like Tony?”
“Yes.”
Jack looked down, drowning in secret thoughts, memories, Chase had no access to.

 
After landing in L.A., they had visited CTU at first, only to be debriefed soon and instantly ordered to take a rest.
 
“It ‘ s okay, Jack. I know how you feel,” Chase said slowly, reaching out for his glass again. His fingers still trembled a little bit and he felt unsure about his behaviour.
He had resisted to stay in the medical department or to go to hospital for further examinations, like he was suggested, feeling the need to move away from everything reminding him of being locked up. Without success as it seems, for the walls seemed to come closer with each breath he took.
Without asking Jack had led him into his small apartment, obviously rented by CTU.
No personnel stuff around, no pictures, the only thing he ‘ d taken care of was the familiar amount of alcohol in cupboards and refrigerateur. Jack had emptied the first bottle quick enough to prove the fact, that he seemed to need no more nutrition. Chase understood him perfectly, he wasn ‘ t hungry either, but felt the necessity to anaesthetize his senses, to stop thinking no matter how. However, his stomach revolted already, his hands shivered, when he tried to raise his glass, until he spilled most of its contents on the bare floor. He felt uncomfortable, unwelcome in these walls.
The changes had come too fast, he still hadn ‘ t been given enough time to sort out his feelings, still hadn ‘ t been able to overcome the horror and strain of the past days. And he couldn ‘ t imagine yet, what had motivated Jack to look for him, still had no idea what had happened. His own plans had ended with the moment Jack would be in freedom and out of danger. And now, when they were together at last, he felt like standing on a cliff, with nowhere to move, nothing to do, but watching Jack going away silently, and he wondered what he might had expected him to do. Nothing, he admitted.
Nothing had been behind the moment they would have left prison, no imagination, no dreams,... nothing. He had cut everything behind him, probably assuming that his life would end with his hopeless struggle. But it hadn ‘ t and now he sat here and had nothing to say, simply sensed Jack near him, alone, on his own, without sharing anything as usual. Chase believed himself able to watch Jack close automatically, hiding his feelings in front of him. And he leant back, defeated and sad, not able to push away the image, that he had to feel happy, relieved, full of hopes and expectations, ready to make a new start. Nevertheless he was too tired to feel anything but his own exhaustion, too spent to think about reasons or plans. He closed his eyes, listened to Jack opening a new bottle, filling his glass, and drifted away finally, falling into a light and restless sleep.
 
He woke up in the night, noticing a blanket draped around him, keeping him warm, while he had been sleeping on the couch, still in his clothes. Blinking into the darkness he recognized for the first time the bed, obviously it had been folded in a corner before, Jack ‘ s dark figure spread widely across the mattress. Obviously he hadn ‘ t been able to get rid of his Jeans before he felt asleep. A knocked over bottle and the sharp stench of whiskey gave Chase an idea why. He sighed and moved in order to stand up, but before he was able to, he felt the cold steal of a weapon touching forcefully his temple. “What?” he breathed, not daring to move.
The soft sound of a gun being secured again, reached his ears and he sensed it being lowered slowly. Chase turned his head and looked at Jack ‘ s awfully white features, nearly expected him to throw up at once. But Jack stood there patiently, seeming to wait for something, and when it wasn ‘ t happening, he turned round without a further word falling onto the bed again, stifling the gun in one motion under his pillow, before he fell to sleep again.
 
Chase sat up completely, his heart pounding, more shocked by Jack ‘ s expression but by the fact, that he had threatened his life. He winded the blanket around himself, remained still, motionless, staring wide-eyed into the cloudy room, listening to Jack ‘ s soft breathings.
 
He was sitting in the darkness for a long time, sensed the night fading away slowly, though no light seemed to appear in the sky. Chase froze, but couldn ‘ t bring up the bravery or the energy to do something against the coldness of the first hours of the day. Like Jack would have anticipate his shivering despite his own dead-like sleep, he stirred at once, moved for the first time since hours in his position, groaning deeply, before he stayed motionless for a moment, sorting out the situation. At least he wasn ‘ t panicking. Instead he stood up in a quick, fluid motion, threw a short glance into Chase ‘s direction, showing no reaction to the other mans obvious awareness of his person, before he headed for the bathroom. An instant later Chase watched him switching on the lights, moving around in the tiny kitchen, preparing some Instant Coffee. No one talked until Jack had kicked away the empty bottles into a distant corner and replaced the traces of the night with two steaming cups. He sat down next to him, taking one of the hot cups into both hands. “Couldn ‘ t sleep the first nights back, neither,” he mentioned, warming his hands by wrapping them around his coffee, and nodded to the second cup. “Take it, Chase. You won ‘ t be able to fall asleep again. Better concentrate your hopes on tonight.” “I don ‘ t know if I should stay for another night.”
Chase watched the smaller man awkwardly. Maybe Jack simply had forgotten his overreaction, maybe he had been too drunk to remember or to care, maybe he considered it as one of his weird dreams. “Where do you wanna go from here?” Jack asked him low, sipping from the hot fluid. Chase shrugged, decided finally, that he had freezed enough, threw the blanket away and grabbed his coffee. “Until our files are cleared we have to stick with CTU. And then... .” Jack stared to the single light bulb, which started to flicker. “And then we ‘ re supposed to work there again. Bill had already made it clear, that he wants you back.” “Why ... me?”
A small smile appeared in the corners of Jack ‘ s eyes. “No doubt, you ‘ ve impressed him. He recognizes a good agent, that ‘ s for sure.” “I failed completely.”
“Nonsense! You worked alone, without any backup. Coming that far you proved your qualities as an agent.” “Do you want to go back?”
Jack ‘ s attention went from the light to the deep black fluid in his hands. “No,” he answered. “I don ‘ t want to. But... but there is nothing else for me to do.” “You can make a new start somewhere else.”
Jack shook his head.
“I won ‘ t. I’m destined to lead this life and I will go through it ‘til the end.”
Chase leant forward, placing his cup on the table. “Then I ‘ll stay, too.”
Jack ‘ s gaze darkened. “You will have enough time to think it through. You ‘ ll have more options than this one.” “Like what?”
“Angela?”
“What about Kim?”
“That ‘ s different.”
“No, it ‘ s not.”
“I won ‘ t be able to repair, what damage I ‘ ve done to my daughter, more than once... . But you ... .” “I won ‘ t start to bring her in a situation, I can ‘ t deal with. That ‘ s what I ‘ ve learned and I ‘ ve pulled the consequences.” Jack silenced, looking hurt, defeated, when his voice returned after a while.
“Still there is more for you.”
“There isn ‘ t anything.”
Jack leant back beside him. “You need time, Chase. And it will be given to you.”
“No.” The younger man closed his eyes. “I don ‘ t need more time. I had enough during the past years, enough time to become sure about what is really important to me. Jack stared to the window, regarded the clouds hanging unusually deep in the sky, preventing the sun from beating the night in this early hour.
 
“I ‘ ll have to go soon,” Jack said, still banned by the darkness outside. “Have to do some stuff.” He stood up, carrying his cup with him, putting it on the drawer.
“Feel free to use, whatever you need to.”
Adressing the cupboard he went on talking.
“Rest... or... maybe you want to see someone, to talk with... you know... some specialists from the bureau. Use the phone and... there ‘ s money in the drawer as well.” “Have you... I mean... talked?” Chase asked.
Jack pulled up his shoulders in unconscious self-defense.
“I ‘ m used to do this fast - telling them what they want to hear. They write their notes down and are as glad as I am to never see each other again.” “I don ‘ t need such a farce.”
“Think about it. There is no need to hurry anything. Take your time and rest.”
“Jack!”
Chase rised from the couch. “It ‘ s about us... we should talk about... .”
“Yes,” Jack answered silently, somehow seeming alarmed.
“But not now. I... I ... there will be another time for... this... .”
He quivered slightly, when Chase made a move in order to come closer and Chase froze, his confusion increasing. “Stay here for another night, if you can... otherwise you have to inform Bill about your place. But you can remain as long as you want to. I... I won ‘ t crowd you.” Jack turned around with sudden determination, grabbed his jacket and went to the door.
“Jack... please... where do you want to go... ?”
But the door already had closed with a sharp noise and Chase remained still, immobilized, feeling strangely light - headed, asking himself helplessly what to do.
 
Jack headed for the streets, eager to leave the building.
He hadn ‘ t expected it to be that difficult and he wasn ‘ t able to understand his feelings either. Taking Chase to his place had come naturally.
Chase shouldn ‘ t be alone and Jack had to admit, that Bill had been right, neither should he. The first days after his release from China had turned to hell, concentrating on his task the only possibility to distract himself from his sorrow. He should be able to get over it, should be able to move on, but the longer he remained in this surroundings, the more his desperation grew. For his entire life he had given up, had lost people, he had cared about, and it seemed like he wasn ‘ t able to do it once more. And the more he tried to shove his loss away, the deeper the pain bored into his insides. Sometimes he wished to be back in prison. Waiting for the final punishment, paying for his sins, somehow had justified his existence, bound his thoughts and feelings. Being in freedom again, visiting the places he had believed never to be able to see again, created a more than bearable pain, an ache he could physically feel and wasn ‘ t able to run away from, for its origin lay in himself. He couldn ‘ t get rid of the face staring at him night and day. He saw him everywhere, everytime and it became worse. He found himself running, because he had heard Tony ‘ s voice in the distance, and tried to reach him, before reality rushed back. Sometimes he supposed to find him behind each corner, hidden in the shadows, crossing his way accidently. Visiting CTU had become a torture. Nonetheless or maybe because of this haunting, he couldn ‘ t leave, he knew in perfect clearness, that he would never do it, that he would stay and endure the pain as long as necessary. And Jack also was aware of the only way he would be able to go through it, hadn ‘ t believed to find himself back in this situation. But it had happened, inevitably, like he had known it all the time. He barely noticed the only man in spite of him, walking the streets this morning, quickly took in the handsome features, the dark shape passing him gracefully, black eyes scrutinizing him attentively. There were other things occupying his mind, there was the challenge to come over the endless day lying in front of him. * * * * *

 
Chase stood in the middle of the room, feeling sad, hopeless, gathering his strength to fight the urge to break down. He swallowed his frustration, looked upon the mess, deciding to take care of his surroundings. Absent mindly he turned to the dishes, emptied his own cup into the sink, staring a moment at Jack ‘ s one, before he raised it to take in the scent. He hadn ‘ t been deceived, the penetrable smell entered his nose. Obviously Jack didn ‘ t intend to stop drinking during the day. Chase sighed and propped himself up at the small kitchen desk.
He couldn ‘ t deal with this, couldn ‘ t deal with it alone. At first he needed to find a way to pay his liabilities, find a way to get into life again and how it appeared, a way to take Jack with him, might he want it or not. Frustration grew, when he started to clean up, when he counted the bottles hidden everywhere, no matter if they were full or empty. Jack hadn ‘ t taken the time to clear up anything. Opening the closets, he found things in a muddle and he hesitated to go through it. Discovering some broken packages of cigarettes, he looked for a lighter, placed his cup as an ashtray in front of him and sank back on the couch, enjoying the poison entering his lungs. He grinned relieved, when he heard someone walking to the apartment, stopping in front of the door, knocking forcefully. “Forgotten your key?” He asked, standing up and heading for the door. “Prison messed up your mind, too? But I ‘m glad we can talk... now.” Chase ‘s smile faded as fast as it had been created when he looked into Andrew ‘ s face.
“What... ?”
“Hi Chase. I ‘ ve heard you ‘ re back.”
“Thought you had left the state.”
“No.” Andrew smiled bitterly. “You wanted me to. I ‘ ve told you I wouldn ‘ t. May I come in... or... ?” “Uhm... ,” Chase stuttered, unable to move. “I don ‘ t... .”
“I ‘ ve brought some fruits for breakfast. Thought you maybe hadn ‘ t the time to... since you were back. It ‘ s enough for... him, too.” Chase squirmed uncomfortably. “How did you know?”
Andrew remained waiting, brown paperback with some food in his arms.
“I ‘ m still in contact with Chloe. She had agreed to inform me about what ‘ s happening with you.” “Hmm, “ Chase blushed, tried to sort out his feelings, when he suddenly sensed the heat of the burning cigarette approaching his fingers. “Okay, come in please. I... just was... surprised.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Andrew stepped in, threw a quick glance around, but showed no reaction to the surroundings. He placed his bag on the table, found some plates to arrange it and opened the window at last.
Chase felt reminded on the time, they had shared before he had went to China, the way Andrew had taken care of everyday life, while his own heart and soul had been occupied with the search for Jack. Somehow he had been sure, that he had joined his family again. It seemed so right for him to return to them. But Chase knew deep inside, that it had been him, who wanted to believe him back there, happy and safe, free from the expectations, Chase would never be able to fulfil. He looked at the fruits and felt his hunger for the first time, allowing himself to smile at the man, who went through the kitchen, looking for glasses and knives. “Thank you, Andrew,” he said, letting himself sink into his former position on the couch, opening the orange juice and filling it into two glasses. “Guess you know, that Jack isn ‘ t here.”
“Yeah.” Andrew smiled back. “I waited, ‘til he left, knew he would.”
Chase nodded. “Will go to CTU later. There are so many things, which needed to be cleared.”
“I can accompany you, if you don ‘ t mind.”
“No... that won ‘ t be necessary. Everything is fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Look Chase.” Andrew let out a deep breath. “I want you to know, that I ‘ ll be there for you, always... whenever you need me.” “Andrew.” Chase looked away, faced the wall on the other side of the room. “We ‘ ve talked about this. I will never be able to... to love you, like you deserve to be loved. You have to move on.” Andrew concentrated on his juice. “You told me often enough. But I can ‘ t stop worrying about you. And I can ‘ t stop doubting, that you receive the correct picture of... of... .” He stopped, trying to hide his nervousness, his fear, that he might have intruded a sensitive topic. “I know, that it won ‘ t be easy. Jack has... we have problems and nobody can tell if we will solve them. But it ‘ s the only thing I can do. Andrew, you have to understand, that I have no choice in this.” Chase rubbed his forehead, speaking more to himself. “If I can ‘ t reach him, if he... .”
He looked up finally. “We can ‘ t imagine, what might happen, but we have to go through it, have to try what we can. And if Jack isn ‘ t able to find a way, than I won ‘ t be able, too.” “Chase!”
Emerald green eyes, shining in the light of the morning sun, which broke through the clouds for an instant, met cool obsidian ones, emanating sorrow and compassion. “You know what I feel for you. I will never give you up.”
“Please, do it,” Chase whispered, burying his face in his hands. Before he felt them, he knew that these arms would come around him, that this familiar body would press against his, offering him comfort and peace. It wouldn ‘ t last long, he wouldn ‘ t be able to stay there, but in this moment he sucked in the caress with each fibre of his body. * * * * *

 
Jack felt better.
At least he was calm, when he entered CTU.
“Jack!” Bill nodded at him. “Where have you been? Chase had asked for you!”
“Chase? Why?” Jack mentioned alarmed.
“Nothing to worry about.” Bill shook his head. “He ‘ d shown up, supposed you were here.” He sighed, seemed to be tired. “ You know how this works. Will last a while until we could offer you the job officially. But I would appreciate it, if you will go through the reports and sign them.” “Alright.” Jack turned to the woman, Bill had pointed at, and who already watched him critically. “Chase had been here,” she stated at last.
“Yeah, I ‘ ve heard so.”
Chloe offered him the papers from the distance, forcing him to lean down to her in order to take them.
“What is it?” He asked annoyed.
She lowered her voice, once again regarding him sceptically. “You told me to keep an eye on him and... .” “Go on, Chloe... .”
“He had a visit this morning.”
“I know. You don ‘ t have to make it a secret. It has been this Andrew-guy. I ‘ ve seen him.” “And now?”
“What now, Chloe? I haven ‘ t changed my mind about them.”
Chloe rolled her eyes.
“Talking with him directly, would make things easier for both of you. He seemed to be disturbed, when he couldn ‘ t find you before.” “Not your business.”
“Jack!” She grabbed his arm. “I care about Chase and... and you... you don ‘ t look good.” She stared at him scrutinizing.
“I ‘ m okay. No need to worry.” He shook her off and lifted the reports.
“Have work to do.”
“Who don ‘ t?” Chloe snapped and let him go, her eyes locking with Morris ‘ ones, which had watched them carefully.
 
Jack drew back and went quickly through the papers, signing them without further hesitation. He hadn ‘ t noticed, that so much time had went by since this morning.
Kim hadn ‘ t reacted yet on his return, but he decided to drop her another message, like he had done for Audrey. Somehow he was glad, that none of them seemed to be able to forgive him, glad, that they had started a new life. Heaven knew, that the people, he cared about, should stay away from him as far as possible.
 
It was evening, when he finally rose from his chair, closing his files.
Bill stopped him unexpectedly, before he could leave.
“Jack! I want you to take a look here.”
“What is it?”
Bill scratched his forehead, unsure about how to go on.
“I know, that you mainly agreed to stay with us to be provided on a regular base with updates about the Organization. Seems like activities here hadn ‘ t stopped, as we presumed. Traces are leading from Europe to L.A. again.” Jack looked at him concerned.
“We have no real informations yet, only hints and rumours, but you should feel free to follow the lead. Only this time, we can ‘ t afford any mistakes.” “Sure.” Jack threw a glance around the office. “Do you need Morris during the next hour?”
“What about Chloe?”
“I ‘ d prefer to keep her out of it.”
“Ok?” Bill wondered. “She ‘ ll find out. And if you are planning to go after him, I just want to remember you, that you ‘ re not allowed to leave the States, in fact, you have to stay in L.A. “I won ‘ t leave the town,” Jack snorted. “You don ‘ t have to worry, Bill. Just want Morris to do some background research.” “Fine!”
Bill turned away with a shrug. The chance to receive any results nearly didn ‘ t exist. But at least, he would have Jack occupied for a while. And truth was, they couldn ‘ t let Connors gain influence again, he had played his games long enough. * * * * *

 
Jack stepped on the streets, when the night sank down on the city. He decided to walk the few streets to his apartment, nervous with the prospect to face Chase again. But maybe he wouldn ‘ t have to. Maybe ... .
His eyes wandered around, scanning places and people, resting on a familiar figure, leaning against a stoney wall. “Damnit.” Jack went through his pockets, felt the comforting package, reassured himself, that he had everything he needed. He took his cigarettes, chose one and lightened it. When he looked up again, the black gaze still scrutinized him. He sighed and took up speed, heading directly for the man, who obviously waited for him. “What do you want, Andrew?” He asked, concentrating his icy stary on the taller shape.
“You know my name?”
Andrew didn ‘ t seem to be surprised.
Jack closed his eyes, when he drew on his cigarette.
“I know everything about you. Remember my profession?”
Andrew nodded, glancing down on him seriously.
Jack squirmed under the cold gaze. “I expected you to deal with Chase. Why are you bothering me?” “So, you know about Chase and me... .”
“Look, boy! I know... it ‘ s okay, Chases and yours business, just leave me alone.”
Andrew stared at him, dropping his voice. “I wish I could.”
Jack got rid of the cigarette, pushed his hands into his pockets and started to walk again. “I have no intention to talk with you, Andrew. Take him with you! Leave me a note, if you want to, but save me from useless conversations.”
 
“I can ‘ t leave you alone.”
Andrew’ s voice emanated so much frustration, that Jack involuntarily slowed his pace, looking at him. Eyes directed on his feet, Andrew adjusted his steps to the rhythm of the blonds walk.
“Believe me, I wouldn ‘ t talk to you, if I wasn ‘ t forced.”
He let his breath out.
“And you have to believe me, that I would take him with me, if I saw the slightest chance, that he would agree. It makes me sick to see him throw his life away... again.” He ran his hand through his thick curls. “I know there is a bond connecting you two and I probably will never be able to understand why he is following you like a dog... .” “What do you say... ?”
Jack stopped his walk, feeling white anger flashing through his guts.
“Keep your mouth shut!”
Andrew faced him openly.
“No, I won ‘ t. There are things you have to hear, because Chase won ‘ t listen.”
“I can ‘ t help, none of you.” Jack bit his lower lip, trying to keep his rising fury inside. “Nobody can, but you!“
Andrew responded to Jack ‘ s anger, coming closer to lose his temper. He stared down on the smaller man, breathing heavily. I know, what you ‘ re doing Jack. And I know, that you ‘ ve given up. But I won ‘ t let you drag Chase down with you.” “Do what you have to do,” Jack growled at the lean figure. “Just do it and stop stealing my time and patience.” With an angry snort he turned to continue his path.
“What now,” he barked, when he felt Andrew reaching for his shoulder. “There is nothing more to say.”
“One thing, Jack! Let me tell you just one thing. Not for me, it ‘ s for Chase ‘ s sake.”
“Tell me. I ‘ m listening,” Jack mumbled, while he changed into a quicker walk. Andrew had no choice but moving with him.
“When Chase had heard, that you were still alive, when he was undercover here and... .”
“I know what happened.” Jack shouted. “Damnit, what do you want from me?
I ‘ ve read each single detail, I ‘ ve seen the files, the pictures, the hospital reports. I know, what he had gone through. What the hell do you expect me to do? I ‘ m not in the position to help him or anyone else.” “I know,” Andrew stated, suddenly calm, suddenly recognizing the desperation the smaller man was carrying, suddenly understanding better the similarity between these two far different, but undeniably bounded people. “I know, Jack,” he repeated. “That ‘ s why I ask you to help yourself, to let yourself be helped if necessary. Chase won ‘ t leave you. He ‘ s determined to stay with you, wether you ‘ d like it or not. He never had left you and probably will never do it, no matter what you or I might say or do. So if you care about him - only a little bit - you ‘ ll stop this shit, stop this kind of self - destruction and start to leave things behind. Start to look for a future.” “Who do you think you are?” Jack ‘ s voice sounded threatening, hollow in a dangerous way, when he violently pushed the other man against the nearest house wall. He fixed him in place with his elbow, pressing Andrew ‘ s throat tightly, until the taller man nearly choked because of the attack, preventing him from breathing. “Shut up, Andrew! Shut up or I don ‘ t know, what I ‘m doing.”
Andrew struggled to come free, but was offered no chance for a release from the iron grip by the expertized agent.
“I won ‘ t say it again.” Jack hissed, before he let him go.
Andrew stumbled, when the smaller man retreated, coughing laboriously.
“Not a word anymore!” Jack warned him again, allowing his fury to show up for a last moment, before he turned away. “Son of a bitch,” Andrew croaked, finally finding his balance again.
His black eyes followed the slim figure, who went a few steps backwards, pointing at him, his gaze flaming, his attitude trembling with composed hate.
“Bastard,” Andrew whispered hoarsely, spitting a mouthful of blood on the ground. “Go to hell , coward.” He coughed again, raised his hands in retreat and turned to leave the man alone.
 
Jack still shivered, confused about his own emotions. He was supposed to remain cool, to be under control and again he had lost it completely.
His breath came in short, dry gasps and he felt his heart nearly exploding in his chest. He slammed his fist against the wall he had shoved Andrew against, did it again and again until it bled. Not caring about the wound he groped for the kit he was carrying with him. He couldn ‘ t wait for a better place to shoot up. Each entrance providing him with a shadowed moment of silence would be able to do it. * * * * *

 
Chase listened to the key turning around noisily in the rusty lock.
He remained standing still, staring out of the window, getting lost in the view of the night devouring his wish to talk, to face the older man.

 
“Chase?” Jack murmured, stepping in with a sigh. “Something wrong with the electricity,” he asked and switched the light on, which flickered for a moment, like it had done the night before, but then calmed and threw its yellow glare over grey walls. “Why are you standing in the dark?” Jack mentioned, seemingly astonished. He took off his jacket and watched the back of the younger man for a moment, trying to get a clue on what his behaviour could mean to him.
 
“Can we talk now?”

 
Jack flinched, cursing himself at once, because of his visible reaction. He turned, avoiding to look at the other man, who stayed immobilized, continued to stare into the dark night like he would observe something more important than a few street lanterns, which made the world just bright enough to prevent the stars from being seen from beneath.
 
“Honestly, Chase... I ‘ m not... .”
A sound indicated an unexpected movement and Jack found himself face to face with the other man, who had closed the distance between them with two long steps.
 
“... not ready? When will you be?”
He let his gaze wander down the smaller man, noticed the fingers rub against each other in nervousness. “Need a drink first?”
He watched Jack scrutinizing. “Probably more than one, am I right?”

 
Jack reacted in self defense. He stretched his body and responded the accusing gaze with cold eyes. “A drink might help both of us, I guess.”

 
Chase shook his head slowly, felt his will, his energy crumbling, leaving him helpless and defeated. He wasn ‘ t up to an argument like this, but he couldn ‘ t leave the conflict standing between them. With a silent groan he met the dark stare again, tried to find an indication, a small sign to prove him, that Jack ‘ s feelings still were there, that he only had decided to hide his emotions deep in his mind. But there were none. The faint light seemed to heighten the walls between them, turning Jack ‘ s face into a hollow mask with dead eyes watching him contemptuously. Chase ‘ s stomach pulled itself together and he bent forward just an inch, clutching at his shirt as if his grip could avoid the upcoming nausea.
 
“When you expect me to leave, say it!” He stated, clenching his fists waiting for an answer.
 
“Why should I want this. I invited you in.”

 
Chase bit his tongue, not able to hide his anger, his deception anymore.

 
“You never invited me. You probably had been persuaded... .”
He took in a deep breath, a useless attempt to calm his strained nerves, to make his mind clear.

 
“You are vanishing without a word, without a trace from here. You are not talking to me, instead you are treating me like dirt, like I had given you some reason to hate me. If it had been such a horrible effort to bring me back, I had preferred it to stay, where I ‘ ve been.”
 
“You have gone for me.”
“And you feel the need to pay your debts? I have news for you. You don ‘ t need to. Some things are for free.”

 
“Chase, that ‘ s not, what I ... .”
“But what else? What else do you have in your mind? Obviously I ‘ m disgusting you, you can stand my presence only when you ‘ re drunk... .” “No, Chase. I ‘ m sorry. I hadn ‘ t meant to hurt you anyway... you ‘ re free to do... .”
“I ‘ m not.” The younger man screamed suddenly. “I ‘ m not free.” His head throbbed and his ears rang with the sound of his own voice, which mixed with the rustling of his blood heating up his face painfully. “Don ‘ t give me this freedom shit. I ‘ m not, neither are you, neither has one of us ever been. We ‘ re captured in our fates, in our worlds, bound by thousands of different ropes, forcing us to do, what we don ‘ t want to.” He sobbed without being aware of, not recognizing the flames burning in his eyes as his own salty tears. “Don ‘ t tell me, you had ever felt free.”

 
Jack groped for the wall, searching support. Wide eyed he followed the younger man ‘ s outbreak, couldn ‘ t break free from the waves of pain flooding the small room. With difficulty he held himself up, he withstanded the final break- through, he knew he wouldn ‘ t be able to recover from. No place for weaknesses, for self defences, for argues. This had to end now. He couldn ‘ t wait any longer. Putting up his strength he managed to form the words.
“Go Chase, I want you to go, now!”

 
Jack closed his eyes, turned back to the cupboard. He held his breath, while he reached for a glass, balancing riskily on the edge of the rickety shelf next to him. It slipped through his fingers, tumbled down on the floor and broke into thousands of pieces. Jack stared at the shiny fragments, reflecting the single light countless times, reminding him on glistening stars. Somehow hypnotized he stood motionless, before he swallowed dryly and opened the cupboard at last, grasping the full bottle of bourbon whiskey, yearning for a distraction, for a possibility to relax. “Jack!” Hands touched his slightly and he winced in shock, sensed a second object escaping his grip, falling downwards in slow motion. “Damnit Chase!” He breathed, shoving the younger man away, trying to reach for another bottle. “You go! I ‘ ll drink and you won ‘ t keep me from... .”
All at once his mouth was shut, when two hot lips pressed against his thirstily.
His arms were caught in a sudden, tight embrace, which gave him no room to move, no chance to escape, while he felt the air sucked from his lungs forcefully. He moaned in protest, his fingers working wildly at the fabric of Chase ‘ s shirt. But the taller man ‘ s determination was too strong, the grip squeezed his chest almost painfully. And when his limbs were immobilized by arms and legs, experienced in taking hold of an unruly prisoner, he knew, that he had lost the battle. Though he refused to give up the fight, shed tears of anger with the fruitless attempt to get free. But at the same time he was all too aware of the pitiless, hard arms encircling him, of the hands pressing into his back, of the long legs, fixing his own ones in place without offering him the slightest chance to break free. And the reckless mouth fed on his own, worked on his lips with a long suppressed, insatiable hunger, demanded entrance violently. Jack sensed the other man ‘ s hardness grow against his own, surprisingly aching manhood, and he felt close passing out, when one of Chase ‘ s armes moved upwards, still holding him merciless, while secure fingers wandered around his throat, gliding with rough tenderness over the sensitive parts of his skin. The undeniable tingle caused a violent tremble, shaking him, when fireworks seemed to explode on the inside of his lids. He tried to gasp in vain, when dizziness overwhelmed him, when he suddenly felt free and falling. “Jack!” Chase let go just to keep a look on the flaccid body, which wasn ‘ t struggling anymore. He startled, when he noticed the white in Jack ‘ s eyes flashing into his sight. “Jack!” He shook the smaller man, eager to save him from unconsciousness. “Are you still there?” And then he felt his breath, sensed him staggering, sinking to the floor, gripping for support, for his support. And he gave it to him, held him steadily around his waist, let him down slowly, until they cowered on the ground, unable to let go of each other. Jack leant on him in exhaustion, Chase could feel his heart pounding, a disturbing sound, nervous, irregular and scaring in its original meaning, its constant reminding on life and death. He carefully pulled the other man closer, half-expecting him to start the struggle again. But Jack remained calm, rested in the now almost tender hug, his head a heavy weight against Chase ‘ s shoulder. They stayed like this for an eternity, listening to the other one ‘ s heart beats slowing down, to the gentle sound of their breathing finding a common rhythm.
 
“I only... ,” Chase whispered. “I just... .”
“Don ‘ t!”
He felt the blond ‘ s lips moving against his chest, sending vibrations through his body, heating up his blood, felt the cheeks rubbing, nearly touching his skin, only parted by the thin material of his cotton shirt, which appeared to be ripped open in few places from the former fight. Chase gasped in wonder, when the movements became stronger, more demanding, when the caresses stimulated his hidden spots, until the sensations grew, while Jack ‘ s mouth tried to suck on the nipples still invisible behind the fabric. He let out a deep moan, not daring to believe the unexpected change in the other man, unsure if he did right giving in to the inexplicable signs of passion. But Jack ‘ s fingers slipping under his shirt, gliding up and down his back, heading straight downwards after a short period of teasing, made him lose his ability to consider the situation, and feeling more helpless than ever before, he let himself be directed to the floor, willingly accepting Jack to cover him with his length, to start a rocking motion, causing his groin to burst in flames. Jacks lips had moved upwards, licking and nuzzling the soft throat, while his hands worked on Chases pants, unbottoning them with shivering hands, searching for what he longed for. Chase arched up, when Jack ‘ s body shifted sidewards with incredible patience, sending flames through each nerve concentrating between his legs, when fingers enclosed his suddenly freely rising shaft, gliding up and down, leaving no doubt about what they intended to cause. “Jack.... ?” Chase asked breathlessly, when one hand came up, closed his mouth roughly. “Don ‘ t talk,” Jack commanded, staring down on the damp face, lust obvious in his eyes, pushing away any anger, hate, pain and loss. And Chase gave in with a sigh, when his shaft was squeezed sightly, opened his mouth to lick on Jack ‘ s fingers, to suck Jack ‘ s thumb in. The blond moved deeper, directed his attention to the pink, straining cock, massive and strong, already aching for release. Without any further hesitation he took it in his mouth, receiving a muffled scream, when Chase bucked with the sensations. He sucked it in, tasting the first drops emitting from his top, gently rolling the balls beneath in his knowing fingers. Chase squirmed with the feeling of the hot, wet mouth surrounding his pulsating member, the tongue flipping most expertedly over the most sensitive spots, licking his whole length, before he took him in again, swallowed him whole. Chase couldn ‘ t stand it any longer. It never had felt that good, he never had felt that good, that worshipped and accepted. Jack worked on him like he had never done anything else, obviously more accustomed to this art, than Chase ever had expected. He pounded upwards, slamming violently into the wet covern, unable to control his movements, unable to care about anything else but the electricity, which concentrated between his legs. But Jack didn ‘ t mind, in fact he sucked desperately, taking him in as deep as he could, providing him with the most delicate blow-job, Chase could have imagined in his wildest dreams. Jack even wasn ‘ t reacting, when Chase couldn ‘ t hold back, he bit the smaller man ‘ s hand, when flashes stroke through him, when he moved uncontrolled, spilling his hot seed into the accepting mouth. Jack drank it completely, milked him dry, still sucked on him, while he came down from the heights of orgasm. Chase panted, closed his eyes, trying to preserve the feeling of the soft lips on his manhood, the warm wetness enveloping him, fitting perfectly. Jack still licked up and down his length, when Chase slowly came to, becoming aware of what was happening. He wished to be able to stay in this place, in this moment forever. A strange tingle in his groin told him about the success of Jack ‘ s efforts. “Oh my god,” he groaned, when he sensed the hand withdrawing from his face, circling his still hard nibble, punching, squeezing it, smearing his own sweet blood dripping from his wound on the pale skin, sending flaming vibes again through Chase ‘ s veins. “Ssshhh!” Finally Jack pulled back, moving up to Chase’s face, his own features flashed with desire, his eyes shining from need. The other hand moved under Chase ‘ s shirt, caressed the other nibble, while he pressed his glowing lips on Chase ‘ s ones, forced his tongue inside the other man ‘ s mouth, making him taste his own release. Chase responded eagerly, gripping for the lean body on his top, embracing him longingly, his long fingers searching for a way to get him out of his trousers. He massaged the hard buttocks, kneaded the flesh, when his cock pushed against the lean thighs above. With a strong, almost brutal motion he managed to pull the other mans pants down, losing no second to return to the place, which tempted him. He touched the small entrance featherly, dipped one finger inside, receiving a quiet moan, suffocated by the kiss, they still shared. Encouraged he plunged deeper, added a second finger, then a third.
Jack gasped in pleasure, broke the kissing and moved, propped himself up, staring down on the other man. His erect penis bored into the other mans skin, made him aware of his aroused state, of the completion, he desired. Chase responded the demanding gaze, his clear green eyes burning, his lips opening in silent promise. Jack arched back, his hardness almost painful for both of them, when Chase fingerfucked him, reaching his sweet spot repeatedly. Mouth open he breathed heavily, squirming wildly, while electric waves shook him, lights exploded behind his closing eyes. Chase couldn ‘ t bear the sight any longer, his heart bled, when he drank in the picture, considering it the most beautiful sight, he ‘ d ever seen. With an almost animal like sound he found his strength, grabbed the lean hips and turned the other man on his back, pulling away the trousers still binding his knees together. Jack ‘ s eyes opened a slit, emanated passion-blue rays, seducing Chase until he thought he would come again only by taking in the image. He gulped audibly before he parted Jack ‘ s thighs with both hands, lifting the pelvis from the ground and moved into position. Jack ‘ s breath came in short gasps, proved his exscitement, his impatience to finally get, what he desired, and when Chase plunged in, strong and violently broke the small ring of protection in one forceful thrust, he cried out in pain and pleasure, accepting the powerful invader from the depth of his soul. And he invited him even more, raising his body against the intrusion, gripping for the other man ‘ s body to urge him deeper, though the massive cock threatened to rip him apart with the dry penetration. But he didn ‘ t cared, Chase ‘ s shaft fulfilled him completely, he sensed him deep inside, moving, sliding, pulsating, pressing against the soft place, massaging it slowly and patiently, when he pulled back and thrusted in again, each stroke providing him with unbelievable pleasure. Nothing existed anymore in spite of the glowing, rock-hard flesh pounding him. He whimpered when it drew back, screamed when it returned, again and again, a neverending battering of passion and desire, devouring everything around, deleting each fear, each sorrow and desparation, driving the issues of past and future into final forgetting. They cried both, when climax shuddered them, when Jack ‘ s muscles clenched. Burning waves of release shook him, while he spread his milky seed between them, driving Chase over the edge with the knowledge, that his strength had caused the explosion without a single touch necessary. Chase joined the cry, when he stilled inside him, after he had pulled back one last time, only to come in again incredibly powerful, filling him with his huge cock, until he couldn ‘ t get deeper and shot his hot seed inside the tight ass, shouting out, while frantic spasms caused a neverending flow of semen, while he felt pumped endlessly until he was empty at last, collapsed on the body beneath, clung to the damp skin, listened to the soft panting, smelled the scent of their sweat, of their in passion united bodies, of their mixing fluids. Chase held on to the slim figure, he laid on top of, embracing him strongly, expressing his need to possess the man with everything he had. He melt inside with the doubtless conviction, that they would belong together from now on, that Jack would be his, that he would never be able to deny it anymore. His fingers slid carefully along the sides, and he became aware suddenly, that they were still wearing their shirts. He smiled unconsciously imagining the impression they would make, turning his head to touch the delicate skin of the neck with his lips. Slowly and carefully he pulled out, gaining a soft sigh from Jack ‘ s mouth, urging him to search for it and to seal their sharing with a tender loving kiss. The lips beneath him opened and he explored the mouth again with slow and patient caress, worshipping the adorable curves of the lips, the wet, warm insides, the elegant dance of the tongue. “Mine,” he thought, feeling it strong and undeniable, like he had always known, like there had never been any doubt about their connection, about the their finally combined destination.
Their kiss broke and Chase started to nuzzle softly on Jack ‘ s throat, content in his physical exhaustion, resting in this precious moment. But Jack stirred, turned his head to deny the other man further access, carefully urging him to grant him space to move. Chase resisted at first, feeling tired and comfortably satisfied, not willing to give up their closeness. He held the smaller man down and continued his caresses, gliding with his hands under the shirt, making his fingers dance on the skin, feeling the scars covering the damaged body. He flinched by the realization, that there were more now, that new and bigger traces of abuse had been added. Jack used the moment of distraction to shift again, to gain a little freedom.
“Chase,” he whispered hoarsely. “I want to get up.”
“What is it?” Chase asked back, returning to the present.
“Nothing... just... ,” Jack hesitated, unable to find the right words. “Let me up.”
“Okay?” Chase moved away, but took care of not losing their touch. “You should think about a carpet in here.” He tried a careful smile, watching Jack worried, who winced a little, while he lifted himself from the ground. “No, I ‘ m fine.” Jack smiled, but the short smile only flashed for a second, never reached his eyes, and Chase couldn ‘ t help, but notice, that he ached somehow. Only he couldn ‘ t tell if the pain was created in his mind or a result of their intensive encounter. “Wait!” Chase held on the blonds arm, when Jack made an attempt to get on his feet.
“Where are you going?”
Jack flinched, but took control again immediately, when Chase let go. He stood up, rubbing his left arm absent-mindly. “Just... ,” he twitched a little, braking the gaze. “You know... .” He shrugged, stepping uncomfortably from one foot on to another, still rubbing his arm nervously. Chase was on his feet at once, stepping near, until he could feel the other ones breath on him. Jack still looked down and Chase, eager to prove his intentions, believing he knew about the problem disturbing him, took Jack ‘ s hand into his and pulled him closer, slowly and carefully taking him into his arms, wishing to be able to show him without a word how much he cared. Jack stayed motionless again, unsure about his next reaction. He felt exhausted, ready to take a long rest, an endless, peaceful sleep without any dreams, and sad, for reasons, he was too tired to think about. Yet his hands developped a life of their own, came up to touch Chase ‘ s sides slightly. And when he leant with a sigh against the tall body, they moved further, encircled the lean waist and stayed there quietly.
“Don ‘ t worry.” Chase breathed against Jacks ear. “I know about your injuries, know what happened.” “So do I.” Jack answered and pulled back abruptly.
Chase ignored the testing gaze, reached out for him again, fearing to lose Jack like he could vanish somehow as soon as he would lose touch for a moment. To pull him back into his arms came naturally and when he felt the smaller man stiffen in the embrace, he couldn ‘ t avoid expecting a struggle. But Jack wasn ‘ t struggling. Surprisingly he relaxed quickly and Chase sensed the inner conflict troubling the man in perfect clearness. Not daring to speak again, to risk spoiling the atmosphere, Chase lowered his head and nibbled on the soft earlobe, remembering the effect his behaviour would have. So he didn ‘ t wonder about Jack submitting, bowing his head aside slightly, opening his mouth to release a gasp.
Encouraged, trying to keep the mood, Chase let his hands slide under Jack ‘ s shirt, carefully touching the skin, now aware about its condition.
He stroke the lean back trying to submit comfort, to create further trust. His fingers followed the lines of scars, caressed the uneven surface.
“No.” Suddenly Jack drew back from the embrace, squirming uncomfortably. “I ‘ m tired, Chase. We should sleep.” Their eyes met and Chase sensed uneasiness mixed with confusion, before Jack broke the gaze and turned to the bedroom. Taking long steps he caught up, gripping the long sleeve to hold him back. Jack shook him off, seeming disturbed, nearly scared.
“Let me... .” The smaller man commanded, though his voice trembled slightly and he wildly pulled back.
“What is it?” Chase, becoming confused more and more, headed after him, determined to stay on Jack ‘ s side. “What ‘ s about your... ?”
A thought came to his mind, and he decided to act quickly, toring on Jack ‘ s shirt, eager to rip it open or remove it at once.
“What the fuck... !” Startled he grabbed Jack ‘ s left arm, pulling the sleeve further away and lifted the former hidden skin against the faint light.
“What has happened?” Chase asked, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Jack broke loose, took two steps away, before he folded his arms in front of his chest, raising his chin.
“These are new injuries,” Chase mentioned, pointing to the again concealed skin. “They are at best two days old. And... ,“ he searched for the blue eyes, staring at him coldly. “And you are using again..., you... .”
“What?” Jack mentioned calmly. “You ‘ re disgusted, want to leave... ? That ‘ s what I asked you for.”
“No.” Chase ran his hand through his hair, trying to get a grip on himself, to regain control of the situation.
“No, I.... I just want to understand... .”
“There is nothing to understand, Chase. Once a junkie, always a junkie. There is not much needed to return to old habits.”
“That ‘ s not true, Jack.” Chase shook his head. “You were strong... you stayed strong, ... hell... you are strong enough to live without this shit.”
“No, I ‘ m not.” Jack mumbled silently. “And I have no reason to try.”
“Then you have to find one.” Chase stated, feeling sad by the voidness of his words. “There will always be something... .” He stopped, frowning by the hollow gaze, meeting his eyes.
“You hadn ‘ t understood, Chase,” Jack answered. “I ‘ m finished.”
He looked down, unable to watch the growing desparation in the green stare of the young man any longer. “You can believe me, I tried. That ‘ s why... .” He silenced.
“That ‘ s why you... what?” Chase asked, shivering with the thought. “Looks like you burnt yourself with cigarettes in order to... to... .”
“Replace the pain with another one. You know how it works.”
“Jack.... .”
“Fortunately I remembered a better way to get over the day.”
“Jack.... .”
“You won ‘ t keep me from what I ‘ m doing. That ‘ s no topic to discuss.”
Chase looked at him, his features reflecting the sorrow eating up him from inside. He shook his head and dropped his gaze.
“I won ‘ t... .”
Jack sighed. “Look, Chase.” He seemed calmer now, unfolding his arms, rubbing his forehead staring at the wall. “You got what you wanted. We had a really good fuck and I won ‘ t regret it. But now it ‘ s time for you to move on, to go on with your life, without me. There is... .” He paused. “There is Andrew waiting for you. I know, that he cares. Don ‘ t turn him down.”
“I don ‘ t want... .”
“And I can ‘ t give you anything. You need to understand this.”
“It doesn ‘ t matter.” Chase looked up, his eyes flaming. “It doesn ‘ t matter... not to me.”
He closed the distance, finally knowing what to do, acting quickly without hesitation.
“I want you either way, the good or the bad. I ‘ ve waited long enough. This here had lasted long enough.”
Jack responded to the demanding gaze, answered it with bottomless sadness, shining in his eyes. Slowly he closed the distance between them, bowed his head down with an expression, almost reminding on a smile, bowing it down in surrender, in a gesture Chase couldn ‘ t interpret otherwise than as a final consent. And he opened his arms once again, waiting for Jack to lean against him again, to accept him and what he offered, to give in like he knew he would do. And when the blond still refused to move, he laid his hands on the slim shoulders and drew him towards his chest, encircled the small back and pressed Jack ‘ s nearly limp, but certainly not resisting body against his own.

 
* * * * *

 
They had shared a bedroom this night. It had been easy to lead Jack there, no need to persuade him to lie down. Without a word Jack had turned on his side and curled up immediately.
Chase slipped under the covers and took the other man tenderly in his arms, embracing the slim form from behind, content with the delicate feeling of skin against skin, of his hands resting on Jacks flat stomach, of his legs twining around the smaller man ‘ s ones. He breathed in the smell of his hair, relaxed in the comforting presence, in the warmth of another body. His heart filled with hope and confidence, when he drifted away into the land of dreams, providing him with images of joy and happiness, of a future life together. He didn ‘ t notice Jack carefully losing the touch and getting up, when he was sound asleep, didn ‘ t notice him locking up the bathroom from inside, leaning against the sink and staring into the mirror for minutes, while silent tears ran down his cheeks, until he pulled himself together and started to clean his skin with rough movements. Jack felt the aching need to shoot up, but instead he stepped into the shower, trying to wash away the memory and the gnawing suspicion of committing another unforgivable fault. He slid down along the wall in the cabin, when his knees gave in, sensed the water hammering against his body without being able to purge him from the thoughts which tormented him continually. The water became cold and he shivered, but still couldn ‘ t put up the energy to get up, somehow relieved the more the outsides seemed to approach the arctic temperatures holding his soul in a frozen state. He knew that his lips had turned blue, that he couldn ‘ t endure staying in here any longer, but nevertheless he wasn ‘ t able to move. At last the image of Chase finding him under the running water stream and the tumbling pictures of the efforts the boy would make to do, what he might consider as his duty, made Jack fight his paralyzation and he managed to crawl out. Trembling violently he stared on his watch and decided, that enough time had passed. Rubbing himself dry he calculated how much he could use without taking a risk. He only had to care for one thing, for keeping the drug away from Chase. When he wouldn ‘ t notice, when Jack would be able to control it, there would be no need for the young man to deal with the abuse, no temptation to talk about anything related. If Jack could keep it secret as much as possible, he would come through with it, at least for the remaining time, until... until things would change finally.
 
He had no idea how much time had passed, when he slipped into the inviting warmth of the bed again. Chase still slept quietly, his lips opened slightly, the sound of his breathing calm and comforting. Jack wanted to turn away from him, but he wasn ‘ t able to stop watching the soft heaving of the chest, the muscular curves of the body covered only partially by the blankets. A tender smile twitched around his mouth, when he admired the smooth skin, the delicate lines of masculine features, of the spread limbs, of the inviting neck. He closed his eyes, sensed the miraculous effect of the poison running through his veins, relaxing him, providing him with its peace, at least for a limited period of time.
 
Chase didn ‘ t wake up, when Jack placed a hand on the uncovered chest, just to assure himself, that the other man was alive. It rested their, when the blond sank into oblivion, found shelter in a dreamless, exhausted state.
 
* * * * *
Morning sun hadn ‘ t yet found their way through the still deep hanging clouds, when Chase stirred. He needed a moment to remind himself, to figure out, why another hot body snuggled against his, why a strong arm laid across his chest in a demanding embrace. He waited a moment, closed his eyes again, relished the intimacy between them, listened to the short breaths escaping the delicate mouth. Jack ‘ s breathing became quicker, more intense and he started to move uncoordinately. He was mumbling something Chase couldn ‘ t understand, but the distress he was in, remained obvious. Chase found his cock tighten in empathy, as he sensed the other man ‘ s heavy masculinity pressing against his groin. Without trying to analyze Chase responded to the nearness, encircled the naked shoulders and set a rocking rhythm, turning closer with each movement. The other man ‘ s body was glowing, heat emanated from the skin and Chase suddenly realized, that its temperature was higher, than even in this situation usual. He stopped in wonder, touching carefully Jack ‘ s forehead and temple. “Jack?” He asked concerned.
Blue eyes opened, lids flickered, allowed Chase to meet the clouded gaze.
“Jack!” He repeated, still stroking the other man ‘ s face. “Looks like you ‘ d caught a fever.”
“No, I ‘ m okay,” Jack croaked, trying to sit up at once.
Chase held him down, shaking his head, slightly amused.
“Don ‘ t be stupid. I ‘ ll take care of you.”
“Forget it, Chase!”
Jack struggled again, until he managed to get up half-way, supporting his weight with trembling arms.
“No, you ‘ ll stay in here. I ‘ ll get you what you need.” Chase demanded, becoming slightly annoyed with the stubbornness of the blond. Jack stared at him without blinking and Chase swallowed uncomfortably, when the feverish sight clung on him, almost reproachfully, clearly rejecting his offers. “I ‘ m fine,” Jack mentioned again and placed his feet carefully on the ground. “I ‘ ve everything here I need... and besides... ,” he threw a look at the wall, where the clock was ticking relentlessly. “I ‘ ve an appointment this morning. No way to miss it.” “Excellent,” Chase answered harshly. “I ‘ ll give you company. CTU is, where I want to go, too.”
Jack scrutinized him awkwardly. “Who talked about the office?” He asked, slowly rising from the bed, gripping the wall for support. “I ‘ m no baby, Jack. There is nothing you can hide from me... haven ‘ t recognized this yet?”
Jack rolled eyes, carefully taking one step after another. He shivered from coldness, his hands and feet feeling like ice, while his face seemed to stand in flames. ‘Great’, he cursed inwardly, while waves of nausea rolled over him, when he tried to remain standing. But the dizziness increased and he lost control over the trembling of his legs and his knees finally became weak. In this moment he felt caught, held upright, supported by familiar arms.
“Damnit, Chase,” he panted. “I... I don ‘ t need... .”
But he couldn ‘t finish the sentence. Smokey-green eyes met his and the words died in his throat, when the sadness shining from the bottom of their dark pools, touched his frozen heart. He broke the gaze, squirming uncomfortably, when Chase refused to loosen the grip in which he held him steadily. “Kitchen... cupboard,” he pointed at last into the intended direction. “That ‘ s where I have my meds... .” “Sure.” Chase helped him on his way, finally releasing him, when Jack found support at the small counter. One hand served him to remain standing, with the other one he went through the different packages and chose the ones he needed. Chase kept his mouth shut, when he watched the amount of pills, Jack obviously intended to take. He turned his back to the older man, searching for his jeans, which he found crumpled on the floor. Entering the bathroom he held back a sigh, noticing the traces of a nightly shower. Attentively he studied the room, but besides the damp towels and cold wetness in the corners he couldn ‘ t make out anything unusual. Suddenly tired, he sat down, burying his head in his hands, waited for the sounds of the water running into the kitchen sink to vanish. * * * * *

 
Jack looked better, when Chase finally left the place. He had dressed in washed-out Jeans and sweatshirt, surprising Chase, who had supposed him to choose clothes appropriate for office work. Jack ‘ s eyes were still red and puffy, giving clear signs of his physical and mental exhaustion, but the feverish glance had become less evident. “Take this.” He threw a shirt into Chase ‘ s direction, who caught it easily, wondering about the similarity of their appearances. He shook off the thought, slipping into the warmth of the fabric thankfully. Jack stared out of the window, where the darkness still ruled, Obviously disappointed about the slow advance of the morning he went to the couch, sank down on it and covered his eyes with one arm. Chase hesitated a moment before he joined him. Maybe this would be the time for them to talk.
 
“Shall I prepare some tea?” Chase asked after a while.
Jack slowly shook his head, letting his breath out with a low groan.
“Let ‘ s just sit here and wait for the sun to come up. “
Chase rubbed his knees nervously and decided to jump into the cold water.
“So, what ‘ s this appointment about?”
Jack sighed and ignored the question, but Chase wasn ‘ t ready yet to back off.
“I ‘ ve learned a lot of things during the past years. Some... there are some I’ ve been thinking about quite a lot.” Jack remained silent and motionless, clearly not in the mood for a conversation.”
“I don ‘ t know what you ‘ ve heard since your return, but... but I had a hard time thinking,... presuming you ‘ re dead.... It... it... kind of freaked me out... I mean... and the circumstances... . And then, when I recognized that Tony knew... about... .” “Leave him out of this,” Jack breathed sharply.
“I can ‘ t. I... he came... I mean... I called him and... .”
“Yeah!” Jack finally took away the protecting arm, leaving his eyes closed. “I ‘ ve heard about it.” “I ‘ ll never forget what he has done for me.”
“Can you just stop it, Chase.” Jack ‘ s voice sounded small, near breaking. “I don ‘ t want to... just don ‘ t talk about him.” Chase crossed his arms in front of his chest and paused, moving on his place, feeling unsure about his next words, though he knew, that he wouldn ‘ t be able to hold them back. Jack waited a moment, before he sighed audibly and opened his eyes, resigned to the facts of their reality. “What, Chase... what?”
He sat up and bent forward, staring out of the window, where the first hints on sunrise appeared. “To make this short: Yes, we ‘ve been together... yes, we ‘ ve betrayed Michelle during this time... like before. No... we weren ‘ t proud of it... . Instead, it turned out to be one of many reasons more, why we hated our guts... . And at last... no, I’m not infected, the Chinese checked on it... repeatedly.” “I didn ‘ t meant to... .”
Chase blushed.
“You ‘ ve each right to ask, Chase. But that ‘ s all concerning you. Whatever else you might have in your mind... about him... keep it inside. I... I don ‘ t want to remember.” Chase fumbled on his jeans, feeling guilty for bringing up the topic. He looked at the smaller man, who still stared concentrated through the glass, although he clearly wasn ‘ t seeing anything, and noticed his already strained eyes filling with wetness quickly. Jack muffled a sob, hiding his pain-distorted features behind upcoming hands, while he leant back again. “Jack... I ‘ m sorry.”
“Damnit... leave it, Chase.”
“It ‘ s... there... .” Chase struggled for words. “I ‘ ve met Henderson there, too.”
No response at first.
“I don ‘ t care.” Jack answered finally.
“You ‘ ve killed him... . I understand that.” “Glad I have your approval, Chase.”
“He... Henderson... talked about you... and... .”
“I don ‘ t care what the bastard said.”
Chase scratched his unshaved chin, feeling awkwardly relieved, that he had been able to distract Jack from his sorrow, but still doubting, that he approached an easier topic. But now, when he had started it, there would be no way back. “Said he knew you from earlier... from the past... .”
“We worked together.”
“Yes..., “ Chase hesitated again. “Stated, that he knew you, when you were young, nearly a kid.”
Jack sighed annoyed.
“My goodness, Chase! Nobody cares about these old stories.”
Chase gulped audibly. “I do, for I care about you.”
‘As you know very well’ he wanted to add, but could bring himself to stop just in time, sensing how thin the ice was.
After, what seemed like an unbearable long period of silence to Chase, Jack finally spoke again.
“The files were closed long ago. Just... only Tony knew, and the only reason was, that he found out himself. Curiosity and thoroughness made him an enemy, who shouldn ‘ t be underestimated.” He rested in his own thoughts for a moment. “ I... I never told anyone else.”
“Then tell me!”
Jack lowered his hands, crossed his fingers in his lap, an expression, nearly a grim smile moved across his face. “You really are a pain in the ass, Edmunds. Can ‘ t believe you really want to make me talk about this bullshit. Nevertheless... it doesn ‘ t matter anymore.”
He shook his head. “So what do you wanna know?”
Chase moved his fingers, flexed his muscles. The words refused to come.
“If you feel uncomfortable with... ,” he finally whispered.
“Yes, I do.” Jack turned to throw a glance to the clock. “And I will go soon. Maybe you ‘ re lucky and a handsome guy is showing up again, providing you with breakfast,... for I won ‘ t.”
Chase glanced at him trying to convince himself, that the older man might show just a fraction of possible jealousy, but the face had closed up again, revealed nothing, when Jack searched his pockets and finally found cigarettes and a lighter, pulling one out of the package with his lips before he offered it to Chase.
The younger man shook his head and cleared his throat, feeling drained, licked his dry lips in order to become able to respond.
He watched Jack releasing the smoke in large blue circles, clearly aware, that the other man was avoiding his gaze. He waited, still asked himself what he should do. Chase was tempted to end the conversation here, part of him refused to hear more, wanted to retreat immediately, to respect Jack ‘ s obvious wish to be left alone, and to leave the whole mess behind, once and forever.

 
“You have to know, that you can tell me everything.”
“Bullshit, Chase. Don ‘ t lie to me. There are questions and you want the answers, nothing to feel ashamed of.”
Jack lit another cigarette.
When Chase still wasn ‘ t responding, he rised up, obviously a little bit too quick, because he staggered slightly. Before Chase could react, he found his balance again.
“It ‘ s okay,” he coughed weakly, turning away and heading for the kitchen, where he let the cigarette drop into the sink.
Taking the uncleaned cup from the former night, he didn ‘ t try to hide what he intended to fill it with. Chase flinched with the sight.
“You shouldn ‘ t mix this with your medicines!” He bit his lips, but the words already had slipped out. Nevertheless Jack ignored them. Instead an answer he took a big gulp, facing the naked wall, before he returned to his place on the couch, carrying the cup with him.
The sharp smell of alcohol reached Chase ‘ s nose and he felt close throwing up.
Jack sat down again, drank silently in long swallows, without any interruption.
Chase simply stared at him, couldn ‘ t refuse to watch his actions, at the same time filled with revulsion and fascination.
“Well,” he mentioned dryly. “If you decide to blow away your brain willingly, then at least you can tell me why.”
“Why?” Jack almost chuckled, quite to Chase’s astonishment.
“Why not?” He regarded the other man scrutinizing, with strange amusement spreading over his features.
“Honestly, I ‘ m impressed, that you don ‘ t feel the need to.” He shook his head in disbelief. “But you ‘ ve always been stronger.”
“Bullshit,” Chase stated. “I ‘ m not... .” But the words died in his throat with the gaze he received from the blond.
Jack sighed, an unintentionally contemptuous sound escaped him, when he adressed the wall again, before he spoke unexpectedly.
“I know, that Connors raped you... and what else he had done to you.” He rotated the cup in his hands, before he went on huskily. “You should know, that I ‘ ll make him pay for it. I ‘ll find him and he will suffer.” Still fumbling with his drink, he turned back to the younger man. “Believe me, this will happen soon.”
Chase swallowed, embarrassed and confused, unable to respond to the prophecy, which shocked him as well as it created a kind of comfort, soothing the sudden pain the few words had caused by awakening memories, assumed dead and forgotten.
“Wanna know why, Chase?” Jack expected no answer to his question. “Because I know how it feels, because it happened to me, because I never had been able to get free of fear, free of them as long as I knew these bastards alive.”
“But... .” “I killed them, no matter how long I had to wait, but in the end I killed them all.” “Did it help?” “What do you think?” Jack ‘s gaze flickered. “Instead of the fear, the ghosts of murdered men are haunting me now.”
“Like Ramon.” Jack ‘ s eyes closed for an instant. “And what is about Henderson?” Silence spread, while Chase tried to concentrate on the topic, though he wished he could run from it.
“Different.” Jack answered hoarsely, before he took another gulp, got up to fill his cup again.
“I... I adored him. He showed me how it could be, that there can exist something besides violence and humiliation between two men.” His voice lowered. “He taught me... .”
“You were a kid.” Jack snorted. “Not in this time. I was ‘ t even young anymore. Maybe in years but certainly not in experiences.”
He emptied his cup quickly. “Probably Christopher had saved me from worse, when he took me with him... . He had watched me, had seen what I did for a living, the things I ‘ d been capable of... and when... later... he changed my background, deleted the truth and made me a soldier for his cause.”
“But he... I don ‘ t understand.” Chase hesitated. “Then you loved him?” Jack shrugged. “I thought I did. He had saved me from the choice to return to common abuse or to sell my body in order to get something to eat or a place to sleep. I ‘ ve been young and obviously willing enough to keep his interest for a while. He payed the bills and demanded nothing else than giving him what he wanted... or deserved.”
Jack stared coldly at Chase, his gaze made the younger man shiver. “And I was happy to give, to fulfil his needs.”
Jack stood up again, considering. “He had never raped me, others did. But this time I would have done everything for him. Even though I killed him and I would do it again. I had done things before, things I felt guilty about, but it has been him, who had made me a murderer. And no matter how many good reasons you may find, there will never exist an excuse for intentional killing.”
He put his cup on the table. “That ‘ s why I ‘ ll kill Connors. That ‘s why you will stay away!”
Jack reached for his jacket, searching his pockets for the keys. “I ‘ ll deal with him as far as possible. Maybe you ‘ ll be free of this one day, maybe not. But I won ‘ t accept you heading for damnation like I do.”
The door closed behind him, and Chase remained in his place, frozen. He felt the urge to curse him, to scream at Jack. Instead he forced himself to stand up, to reach for the single cup and fill it again with the copper fluid. There were many ways leading into purgatory and Jack wouldn ‘ t be able to prevent him from finding his own.
* * * * *

 
“Damnit!” Jack cursed, before the coughing shook him.
His head throbbed and while falling to the ground by passing out he had injured his knee and his side.
Groaning he rolled on his back and blinked against the light.
It wasn ‘ t much brighter, than he remembered, so he couldn ‘ t have been unconscious for longer than a few minutes.
Fortunately there weren ‘ t many people on the streets this early and he had managed to stumble into a darker corner, though he wasn ‘ t sure, if his movements had been intentional. White pain flashed through his brain in the moment he stood up and he suppressed another groan, when dizziness swept over him. He bent forward and tried to breathe calmly, while he wiped the dirt from his jeans, in order to create a more decent impression to accidental watchers. Blood oozed through the hole, where the fabric had been ripped open, left a dark stain, the sight and smell of it enough to make him sick again. He twisted his head, but immediately regretted the action, for sudden nausea was added to the former dizziness. “Son of a bitch,” he hissed, directing his anger on Chase in lack of another subject, he could make responsible for his state. The combination of different poisons running through his blood took its toll. Instead of flying high Jacks body started to revolt, refused to follow his orders or in the best case annoyed him with permanent pain. He pressed his lips together and staggered forward, careful to stay in reach of the housewalls next to him. No time for self-pity. Maybe this day would bring a change.
* * * * *

 
Morris stared at him in shock, when Jack slowly approached his desk.
“You look awful, man”, he stated. “And...”, he breathed in audibly. “You smell like a barrel of whiskey, buddy!” Jack responded coldly to the gaze. “Part of my cover”, he mumbled, while he headed for the changing rooms. “What cover?” Morris wondered, but decided to drop the thought. Who cares? Secrets remain secrets and probably Bill would tell him sooner, than he would like to know. He could wait until the whole shit would make sense finally. * * * * *

 
Connors smiled and pushed some buttons to receive a sharper picture on his screen. It might be crazy to take the risk, but he hated it to leave things unfinished. And to finish this issue would be worth each effort. * * * * *

 
Jack made sure, that his drugs still were on the same place, he had fixed them. He still hadn ‘ t thought about bringing some clothes here, certainly hadn ‘ t intended to make this job a longtime commitment again, though the kit, hidden behind the dusty files named ‘Almeida’ proved the opposite. He felt the need to wash his face, used cold water to numb his skin. Trembling he cleaned his wound and swallowed a remedy meant to soothe the turmoil in his stomach. As a result he broke down, reached the toilet just in time to vomit violently. He knelt on the floor, feeling the spasms shaking his body. At least he felt better, when his insides calmed down. Still early in the morning, he seemed to be all alone in this part of the building, and so he decided to stay, where he was, leaning against the cold porcelain, finding mysterious comfort in the conviction, that he couldn ‘ t sink much lower. And though he knew, that he was the only living, breathing being in between this walls, he sensed the sardonic eyes resting on him, heard the mocking laughter approaching, coming closer each second. * * * * *

 
“Secretary Heller is on his way?” Bill asked astonished.
“That ‘ s not what I said”, Chloe snapped. “His privat jet will arrive here soon, but he won ‘ t be in it. His assistant will deliver some informations, but the whole thing is supposed to remain secret. I only noticed, because the pilot checked the flight plan with L.A. Tower.” “Can ‘ t believe that”, Bill ranted. “Like it would demand too much to share some simple informations. Morris! You ‘ ve heard about this?” “Still checking up the files for Jack. Thought this should be my priority.”
“Right.” Bill calmed down. “Where is he?”
Morris shrugged. “I ‘ m sure he ‘ ll show up each minute” , he answered vaguely.
“He better does.” Bill turned. “You contact Secretary Heller. I want to know what ‘ s going on.”
“Sure. No problem, boss.” Morris grinned at Chloe who ignored him, returning to her work.
* * * * *

 
“Jack! You ‘ re okay?” Bill regarded the agent entering the office half an hour later sceptically, who answered with a determined nod. “Alright. Morris already had found some facts, that might be useful. I need you to take a look. Above all, you remember Theo Stoller?” “Sure?” Jack asked in response.
“He ‘ s working for us now, in fact he represents the connection between Washington and BND under the command of former Secretary of Defense Heller. I ‘ m telling you, because you should be prepared in case you’ ll have to search the contact. Looks like the BND would be our best shot on finding our man.” Jack changed a look with Morris, who rolled his eyes.
“I ‘ m already informed, Bill. Stoller is a professional, there won ‘ t be a problem.”
* * * * *

 
“Anything new?” Jack asked Morris, after Bill had left them for a meeting.
“I ‘ m not sure. There are some weird messages arriving.I ‘ ve just decoded this one. It states, what we already had assumed. Give me time for more!” “Great!” Jack mocked and turned to his place, sat down and ran his fingers through his hair. Physical exhaustion matched with upcoming anger. He was done wasting his time in here. Annoyed he threw a glance on his watch, standing up again. “I ‘ m going,” he told Morris, while he passed by. “Reach me on cell phone, if there is a change.” “Jack,” Morris mentioned. “We can only guess yet, if the informations from Washington are useful for us. The only thing we know for sure is, that we aren ‘ t supposed to know about them.” “That ‘ s enough for me in this situation. We have limited options. Right now our most promising trace will land soon, and I ‘ m kind of convinced, that the turning point will show up with the plane. We can ‘ t afford to lose this possibility.” “What if Stoller can ‘ t help?”
Jack shrugged. “Then you ‘ ll have to find another way to localize Connors. We know, that he has contacts and it should be a question of time to discover the holes, they are hiding in.” “Bill had been pretty clear, he won ‘ t be happy, when you ‘ re leaving.
“My problem! If he asks, tell him, I follow a hint. That ‘ s no lie and maybe tonight we ‘ve got some answers.”
“Ok.” Morris watched him, unspoken questions lying in his eyes. “I ‘ ll send you what I ‘ ll get into your car.”
Jack nodded and went for his equipment, when Chloe called him back. Without further delay she came to the point. “When Chase drops by, what shall I tell him?” Jack flinched, avoided to look at her, who studied his appearance with raised eyebrows.
“He already knows, that I ‘ m not spending the day in here. So he won ‘ t ask for me. Anything else?”
“Would there be something?”
Chloe stepped closer, staring into his face until he answered her gaze.
“Right,” she said finally, accepting silence as an answer, recognizing her inability to change what she had discovered in his features. “Then leave, Jack, and do what you want to do.”
“I will”, Jack whispered, wondering how much she would be able to presume.
He turned away abruptly, glad to escape the office and noticed how sudden relief captured him and how it increased the further he moved away from the building. * * * * *

 
“And nobody knows where he is gone,. Whom he will meet?”
 
“Calm down, Chase! It ‘ s Jack. He knows what he ‘ s doing.”
 
“You have no idea”, the younger man barked hoarsely, receiving an angry gaze from the head of CTU. “I can tell you, that I ‘ m not accepting Jack ‘ s behaviour as well, but his instructions are clear and probably he ‘ ll come up with an explanation sooner than we are expecting.”
 
“Chase... I wasn ‘ t sure, if you would come in today.”
In response Chase looked down on his feet, leaning on a nearby desk for support, when Chloe rushed nearer. “You ‘ ll handle this?” Bill ‘ s words demanded sudden obedience, his shoulders were pulled up in undoubted tension, when he left the pair. “What ‘ s the matter, Chase? What are you doing?”
“Thought I was supposed to come here.”
“Not when you ‘ re like that...”, Chloe snapped. “What the hell are you thinking?”
“Nothing!” Chase touched her arm assuringly. “Just worried... looking for... I know it ‘ s stupid.” “You can tell!” Chloe shook her head. “Shall I call someone for you? I can ‘ t let you go out alone like that.” “Like what? I ‘ m fine, even more, if you don ‘ t need me here.”
With that he turned to leave.
“Chase!” Chloe came behind him. “You can ‘ t drive... I ‘ ll call Andrew.”
“What the fuck?” Chase startled. “Keep your nose out of my business. I can ‘ t believe... what do you think... .” He stopped suddenly, when his words, spoken loud and angrily, gained attention.
“Forget it,” he added, regaining control. “I ‘ ve enough of this shit!”
“Oh dear! What ‘ s the matter with these guys today?” Morris approached them quickly, trying to offer some protection. “Leave it. I ‘ ll handle this.”
“Are you sure, Chloe? Seems like you could use some help.”
The woman considered his words for a moment. “Maybe you could arrange a cab for Chase, while I ‘ ll search for Jack.” “Very well. But about Jack we should talk in private, sweetheart.”
“Shut up!”

 
Morris grinned and pushed Chase to the exit.
“You know something”, the younger man stated, shaking the arm, directing him, off.
“Lots of things. I ‘ ll tell you, in case you will be able to understand. But at first you ‘ ll return into your nice, comfortable apartment and wait for Jack, who will arrive soon with amounts of good news.” “Where is he?”
“He ‘ s fine, kid, and so will you be, when you are listening to me.”
Morris handed Chase to one of the guards, cursing his fate, which forces him to explain things he couldn ‘ t understand himself, to the woman he loved.
 
Chase couldn ‘ t remember how he had come back at last. He stood in the middle of the room with nothing to focus on but the empty bottle. With a furious cry he grabbed it and threw it against the wall, strangely content with the sight of breakening glass tumbling down, emanating an ugly crashing sound, still ringing in his ears, when he tiredly gave in and sank into unconsciousness. * * * * *

 
Jack had been fallen asleep, when a sudden noise waked him.
“Bauer,” he answered the phone.
“Goddamn, Jack - where have you been?”
“What is it, Morris?” he croaked annoyed.
“The plane is coming down. Are you prepared?”
“Sure. I ‘ ll call you back.”
Jack rubbed his face, trying to become clear again. He pushed the rubber and the used needle with his foot out of sight. If necessary, he would deal with the trash later, but just now more important things might happen. He froze and the fever made itself noticeable again. Giddiness caused his head to swim and he cursed Chase once more, though he was aware of it making no sense at all. Chase hadn ‘ t forced him to take cold showers and to freeze until his temperature had reached dangerous lownesses, just because he couldn ‘ t resist to make himself feel worse. With a sigh he closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of engines approaching. The private airport left not many possibilities to land, and soon he had figured out, where the plane would settle down. Jack started the car and drove as close as he dared to, before he stopped and got out of the vehicle. Leaning against it, he waited patiently, trying to ignore his nausea. He knew how close he was to overdose, the temptation grew bigger each day. Instead he used as little as possible, endeavouring desperately to function as long as he would be able to. But he could tell, that he wouldn ‘ t be able to pull himself together much longer, not if he can ‘ t discover a proper reason soon. The need constantly pierced him, hurt him, increased his anger and frustration, and what he allowed himself to take, wasn ‘ t enough to save him from the pain, though there might be no doubt, that it was mostly the pain his mind caused, which tortured him.
 
The plane landed elegantly and Jack took a deep breath and moved closer.
Two slim figures stepped out and went down the stairway. One of them raised his hand to protect his sight from the light of the late afternoon sun. He said something to his companion and went directly to Jack.
“Agent Bauer. Can ‘ t believe, that you are here for a welcome.”
“I ‘ m not, Agent Stoller. I ‘ m here for informations.”
“And who says, that I can or want to provide you with them.”
“No games, Theo. You don ‘ t trust me and you certainly have no reason to. But you are informed about what I want, CTU needs to know what you can offer. We won ‘ t move behind your back, we only want to destroy the organization.” “I have nothing to offer you.”
“Bullshit. I know how Heller is working. Besides our people followed the email traces. There are connections, you can ‘ t deny.” “You see this guy?” Stoller pointed to the man who arrived with him. “Heller ‘ s assistant. He ‘s here to clear some business stuff, the public shouldn ‘ t learn about. That ‘ s all I have to say.” Stoller made a move in order to turn away, but Jack grabbed his arm.
“I came out here, because I respect Heller ‘ s intention to keep his intervention secret, but I need you to help me. There are existing more hints than one, and you are behaving definitely suspicious, if you refuse to cooperate.” “You won ‘ t dare to arrest me. Besides... I won ‘ t allow it.”
He nodded sideways, where Jack noticed two cars coming nearer.
Stoller glanced on his watch. “Take the limousine”, he shouted to the other man, who wasn ‘ t hesitating. “And hurry up. You know our time is limited.” The second car stopped and two heavy armed men left it.
“What the...”
“We just want no complications here.”
From the corners of his eyes Jack noticed a shadow stepping in front of the entrance above, followed by two others positioning themselves. “You have guards with you? Holy shit!”
He stared back at Stoller, who pulled a blinking Walkie Talkie from his belt.
“There still is someone in this plane.”
Jack stared at the engine, suppressed a visible trembling.
“Enough.” The metal voice snarked. “Bring him in.”
“You heard it Jack. You ‘ re needed inside.”
“What about Heller?”
“He has friends and he shares.”
Jack shook Stoller ‘s guiding hands off, climbing the stairs without further hesitation. He stopped in front of the guards, who denied entrance, but weren ‘ t threatening him. “It ‘ s okay. The boss wants to see Bauer.”
Jack gave him a short glimpse and felt his insides freeze. The tension faded away, what remained left, was the familiar numbness, the ability to part his feelings from the duties he has to fulfil. He passed the guards without looking at them, ducked down to enter the interiour.
His gaze wandered through the plane until it finally rested on the man sitting comfortably in the background flanked by two body guards. Connors grinned brightly. “Glad to see you again, Jack. It has been about time.”
“You know what I ‘ m here for.”
“Oh Jack!” Connors made a clicking noise with his tongue, shaking his head contemptuously.
“You won ‘ t kill me today.”
“I probably will never be able to come closer to you than now.”
The dark haired man smiled devilishly. “And I expect no letter of thanks from you.”
“So... you wanted me to come?” Jack struggled to maintain his inner distance.
“I wanted and I expected you to look for me. Besides, you hadn ‘ t kept your search for my person as a secret. But maybe it comforts you, that I hadn ‘ t let you out of my sight as well.” Contently Connors leant back. “It ‘ s nice to see our wishes come true.”
“Yes it is!” Jack breathed and quickly pulled his gun out of the folder, taking two steps into the other mans direction, aiming at him. “I want to see you die,” he hissed, feeling the blood rushing through his veins, increasing his heartbeat, driving each rational thought out of his mind. “And you know as well as I do, that you have no chance.”
“Who tells you that I care,” Jack whispered, allowing the hate to overtake control.
Connors smirked again, clearly enjoying the adventure. His guards stood ready to take action, but he gave them no sign. He just regarded Jack ‘ s thin shape, shaking from barely controlled fury, the disgust in his face and the hollow desperation in his eyes, proving to him, that he was safe. The terrorist crossed his arms in front of his chest.
“You care, my friend. Maybe not for you, but a small part of you, which isn ‘ t yet destroyed by the drugs you ‘ re consuming in order to escape your sad existence. Maybe you are not ready to admit it, but you do care for your cute little loverboy who can ‘ t break away from you.” He emitted a short laughter.
“That ‘ s why you won ‘ t dare to shoot me. You know very well, that I have placed men around your apartment, who are watching each step Chase makes. What instructions do you think they have in case of a violent attack against their leader.” His grin grew even wider. “Pardon me, but I suppose you don ‘ t want to know.”
Jack lowered his gun.
“You ‘ re right”, he whispered. “I won ‘ t do it.”
“Like I said, you do care and I appreciate this very much. Makes sure, that I will enjoy to watch your struggle.”

 
“What do you want,” Jack hissed, his fingers still closed around the weapon, knuckles turning white by the pressure he put on it. “That ‘ s quite easy. I have a deal for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
Connors shook his head impatiently. “Don ‘ t pretend to be stupid, Jack. We are not concentrating on less than fundamental questions.” He grinned scornfully. “Nothing else than the old issues of life and death.”
“So you want me dead.”
“I won ‘ t deny it.”
“Then, why don ‘ t you kill me and bring it to an end?”
“And do you a favor?” Connors snorted. “I ‘ m better than that. And I won ‘ t take the risk to have some obsessed feds on my feet, ...one had been enough.” He laughed. “No, Jack, it ‘ s time for me to be left alone, to be allowed to run my business in peace.” His smirk became mocking. “I said, I would offer you a deal. It ‘ s a good one. You won ‘ t be able to complain. And as far as I see it, it ‘ s pretty fair, too.” “I ‘ m waiting.” Jack gripped his gun even tighter, pushing his emotions back with effort.
“I ‘ ll offer you a life for a life.”
“Don ‘ t understand.”
The dark-haired rolled his eyes annoyed. “Oh Jack. Maybe you might understand that I have each reason to want you and your little boyfriend buried at least six feet under. Usually I ‘ m not tolerating people, who are bothering me repeatedly. But as the nice person I am, I decided to let one of you live. Count it as a fair exchange. We ‘ ll be finished dealing with each other, two people will remain alive, going their ways into separate directions from then on.” Jack stared at him in confusion. “I still don ‘ t get it. You expect me to take part in one of your sick games?”
Connors giggled. “I ‘ m pretty sure, you will take part. In fact you have no choice.”
“Enough with this nonsense!” Jack shivered in anger. His gun moved up again, and he came close to give up control, longing for the sight of Connors blood spreading on the clean inside of this jet, wishing to hear his last breath, when he would beg for his life. The terrorist felt the increasing lack of self-control in the agent, and his eyes shone in pure amusement, while he enjoyed the rushing of adrenalin through his body. “Oh Jack” , he uttered in playful compassion. “Can ‘ t you imagine, that I ‘ ve secured your cooperation. It ‘ s not only about you and Edmunds. I guess, I did a good job to involve everyone you ‘ d ever cared about, even if only a little bit.” Connors watched the smaller man contently.
“Let me explain this easily. I will leave this country without paying further attention to it, if you provide me with a nice goodbye show, resulting in the death of your pretty partner. In return, I ‘ ll pull back a few of my orders, I would have to put into reality, if you are not willing to take part.” Jack nearly laughed, his anger shoved aside by wonder.
“You ‘ re completely nuts,” he muttered. “What makes you think, I would agree.”
Connors bent forward. “What will happen if you don ‘ t... that ‘ s what makes me sure. So put your weapon down, or do you prefer to learn how my people will take care of your nice daughter.” “You... !”
“They are standing in line, I can assure you this. Nothing ‘ s better than a young blond chick.”
“You bastard!”
Connors smiled again. “If you won ‘ t take part, my people will have lots of fun. Digging in your past made them found a victim for each possible taste, and as well as I don ‘ t care about nationalities or convictions, I have certainly no problem with sexual preferences. So some interested co-workers of mine are already around a happy little lesbian household in Washington. And believe me, they are not watching the women... at least, they are not their primary interest. So tell me, if you still think, you had a choice.” “You won ‘ t get away with this.”
“We ‘ ll see.” Connors features turned serious. “To show you my good will, I ‘ ll give you time to think about it. Your answer is expected tonight.” “I won ‘ t kill Chase.”
“Then he has to kill you.” Connors answered. “And thinking about the immense crush the boy has on you, I won ‘ t rely on him having the guts.” “You want one of us dead!”
“Yes... but don ‘ t start to be too happy. I won ‘ t accept suicide. This is not an option!”
“Why? You would have, what you demanded.”
Connors leant back again, a devilish expression returning into his face. “You still don ‘ t get it. It ‘ s the entertainment I crave for. I want to see what you make out of this. Besides... it wouldn ‘ t be difficult for you to kill yourself and probably I still would have to handle with your boy. No, you are dead and he is guilty, or he is dead and you step back.” “Never... you must be crazy to think... .”
“Don ‘ t rush it, Jack. I ‘ ll help you to get the picture. Agree to the deal and there will be three people involved: you, me and your lover, two of us coming out alive. If you don ‘ t, the problem will concern you boy, your families, as well as what remained of your collegues.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“That means, that my CTU moles will blow up the whole thing and make sure, that nobody will survive. And that ‘ s only concerning this town...” “You don ‘ t expect me to believe this.”
“Take your time, Jack. But don ‘ t forget... I ‘ m watching you. One slight sign, that you try to run or make an attempt to give away something and I ‘ ll use the advantages inner security are providing us with and blow away CTU, kill your cute daughter and make your boyfriend wish he was dead. Just for a start.” “I won ‘ t play your cards.” Jack trembled, unable to accept the madness of the situation. He started to consider the whole mess as an evil nightmare from which he would awake each moment. Cold sweat ran down his back and his insides turned violently, as if a big fist would squeeze his guts. “You think you can run, Jack?... You can ‘ t.”
Connors studied the pale face losing what has been remained of its colour. He nodded to his men. “Bring him outside. I don ‘ t want to watch this junkie throwing up in here.” He ran his hand through the silken hair. “You think about it, Jack. You will be called tonight. Make sure you ‘ re at home. Otherwise... you know... otherwise the game will begin.” The last thing Jack saw were these merciless eyes, glistening in pure joyfulness, boring into his own, before the blow hit him from behind. He didn ‘ t noticed being carried away, being dropped beside the car, didn ‘ t notice the cars returning and leaving again. He wasn ‘ t even stirring, when the plane started, filled the air with unbearable noise, vanished, leaving nothing than a gust of wind, which faded away quickly. * * * * *

 
The sound wasn ‘ t leaving him. Even when he had come on his feet, fought his way through the mist surrounding him though he knew that it only existed in his mind, the deep roaring stayed. He had touched his forehead, found the wound caused by his fall to the stoney ground, ignored it and entered the car, he immediately forced to took up speed. Connors eyes still bored painfully into his brain and he suppressed the gag reflex the memory of his words was causing. He could remember their contents in amazing brightness, seeming more real than the environment around him, which appeared ready to be devoured by the growing darkness sent in expectation by the sinking night. He had to think straight, had to think clear, to find a solution... fast.
But there was no one... no help... no way out... no rescue for him.
He only could try to minimize the damage.
Heller, Stoller... who else? He wouldn ‘ t try to fool himself... nearly everyone at CTU could be a traitor. Jack had been away for too long, it would be ridiculous to trust any of them. Coughing shook him, extended his feelings of sickness.
He never had suspected Nina, he had no idea of Bill ‘ s or Chloe ‘ s private life... and he hadn ‘ t seen Chase for years. What did he really know in spite of the fact, that he ‘ d become the playtoy for a major criminal. He wasn ‘ t aware of the tears running down his face while he drove along the highway.
Would make no sense to try anything, to fight anymore... he wouldn ‘ t be able to bring up the strength, couldn ‘ t find a reason. * * * * *

 
Chase woke up feeling like shit. For a moment he wondered if he had caught the fever from Jack, but decided quickly to make his drinking responsible. With a curse on his dried lips he staggered to the sink and used the faucet to quench his thirst. Wiping his mouth he took a good look at his surroundings, angry about himself and the mess he had created, angry about Jack and his everlasting stubbornness. He refused to ask himself what might have caused his anger, satisfied with the way it made him feel better. More drinking should be a possibility and he was tempted to open another bottle. He stopped within the movement, realizing, that this wouldn ‘ t be the way he intended to walk. In addition he started to add an unclear worry to his confusing emotions. The feeling was weird, but he couldn ‘ t get rid of it. Chase remembered the past day, waiting in this room for hours, growing fear taking possession of him. He had to find Jack, had to tell him... . Discouraged he shook his head. There was nothing he could tell him, nothing he could expect to receive. And the strange sense of upcoming horror made him shudder, made him search inside desperately for the upcoming wrath, providing him with the ability to face whatever he would have to learn this night. * * * * *

 
Jack closed the door behind him and took a moment to adjust himself to the change of situation. The prospect to stay enclosed for hours in this variant of a prison cell scared him to the bones, though he couldn ‘ t figure out why. Chase was here, he had sensed his presence before he ‘ d entered the building.
Part of him was relieved, at least he wouldn ‘ t have to search for him. But another part couldn ‘ t stand the thought of being confronted with the man again, left out the fear that Chase would be able to find out what kind of decision he would have to make. He waited, leant against the locked door, wondering if Chase would make himself noticeable though he irrationally hoped he wouldn ‘ t, only to gain a few more moments of silence. At first it seemed like his wish would come true, no sign of life reached his senses.
But the lack of any sound wasn ‘ t fooling him. Jack knew that Chase had heard him coming, that the young man rested hidden in the darkness, ready to confront him again with terrors of past and future he longed to avoid as long as possible. Squirming restlessly, when he sensed the inevitable confrontation approaching, he finally decided to turn around and lock the door properly. Not that it would make much sense, but just in order to stick to the usual behaviour. He left the key in place and stood motionless, feeling the air vibrating, transferring waves of sensual as well as of irritating impatient and furious moods. Jack saw the younger man coming nearer, though he had turned his back to the interiour of the apartment, still staring at the key in his hands, saw the lean shape closing their distance quietly, not causing a single sound, no breath audible, no step noticeable. The picture was clear in his mind and he didn ‘ t wince in surprise, when cold hands touched his shoulders, began slowly to massage the tense muscles. “Where have you been?”
Chases voice held a seducing subtone, though the accusation in his words took the lead.
“I ‘ ve been worried.”
“Don ‘ t be!” Jack became aware of his position, of the caresses he allowed again in opposition to his conscious will. Resolutely he pulled away, taking some steps forward, switching the light on with determination. It was already dark outside and he blinked against the brightness, before he turned back to Chase.
“What happened?” The younger man stared at him and he remembered the impression he must give.
“Nothing. I stumbled.”
Jack tried to concentrate on the question if and where he could have placed a first aid kit, but soon gave up the idea, heading for the bathroom, where he started to clean the injury in his face. He looked down his jeans and opened his belt in order to change clothes, when his gaze fell into the mirror, reflecting the sight of Chase watching him.” “What is it?” He asked with a sigh, getting confused by the vibes surrounding him again.
“You stumbled.” Chase stated. “You stumbled and fell.”
He rubbed his forehead. “I guess it makes sense. You ‘ re not in the condition to keep yourself out of trouble.” Their eyes met again in the mirror.
“So...?”, Jack asked, feeling annoyance grow. He didn ‘ t need another sermon.
Not him. Not now.
“I think it ‘ s understandable that I ‘ m worried about you.” Jack sensed the anger in the younger man, but was far away from regarding it as reasonable.
“What do you expect me to do about this,” he asked, rolling his eyes inwardly.
Chase shrugged.
“There are many possibilities”, he emitted at last. “I want to help... I want to be your partner. I want to be involved in what you are doing.”
“You will be involved,” Jack sighed surrendering. “It ‘ s... there... .” He stopped considering, hesitating to offer more.
“That ‘ s what I mean”, Chase replied eagerly. “Nothing but hints, nothing but faint remarks leading nowhere. You left me this morning with nothing, expecting me to cope with your story, to be satisfied with the few pieces you had thrown at me.”
He ran his fingers through his dark, curly hair. “But I want more. I want to know... .”
“I ‘ m sorry, Chase.”
Jack finally turned to him, looking him up and down scrutinizing, before he emanated another sigh. “Give me one day and you ‘ ll know it all.”
“No.” Chase shook his head. “I won ‘ t endure another day like this.” He stepped closer, until only inches parted them. “I want you... and I mean all of you. No secrets, no dealing with your mess on your own. You deserve better and I deserve better. Accept my help, accept me in your life, and when it won ‘ t work, I ‘ ll step back. But right now I feel that you need me.”
“Whatever.” Jack folded his arms across his chest and stared down to the floor. “Let ‘ s just get over the night. I... I ‘ m expecting a call, and... and it might be important.”
Chase froze. “Don ‘ t treat me like that,” he mentioned. “No one has a clue about what you ‘ re doing the whole day. Is it CTU business, are you acting alone or are you figuring out which dealer can be relied on, who will provide you with the possibility to fly high without having to return.”
“It ‘ s nothing like that.” Jack stayed calm, though he felt his self-control slowly slipping away. “It ‘ s ...it ‘ s only not the night for conversation. You will have to trust me.”
“Trust you?”
Chase breathed heavily. “You demand me to trust you?” The blood started to boil in his veins and anger hit him like a silver flash. Before he could stop himself Chase shoved the other man backwards, catching him by surprise. He pushed against the shoulders he had caressed earlier, causing Jack to stagger, almost to lose balance.
The smaller man fell against the wall, just managed to keep himself upwards.
“I ‘ ve never wanted anything from you,” he hissed. “Accuse yourself for your disappointments.”
“You ‘ re talking to me like that... .” Chase trembled in fury. “After all I ‘ ve done for you, after all I ‘ ve gone through... I ‘ ve sacrificed for you...?”
“I ‘ ve never asked for anything.” Jack whispered calming down, but the control he regained over his senses obviously heightened the rage shaking the younger man.
What he had held back for too long, the buried frustration grown during the past years without him suspecting its size broke free in a violent rush.

 
* * * * *

 
* * * * *
 
“Goddamn, Chase!” Jack whispered, when he had regained his balance, a frightening threat audible in his voice. “Stop behaving like a kid!” Sooner, than he ever had expected Chase lashed out, landing his fist in Jack ‘ s unprotected stomach. With a muffled groan the blond bent forward, while his knees were giving way at the same time.
Coughing violently he struggled to avoid hitting the floor, tried to pull himself upwards along the tile-covered wall. “Son of a bitch,” he hissed, when he was able to breathe again. “Have you completely lost your mind?” Chase drew back in shock, startled about his sudden outbreak. He felt sick, scared to death, disgusted by his loss of control. “I... I... ,” he searched for words, for an excuse, but it wasn ‘ t taking shape in his mind. His eyes locked with Jack ‘ s and the unhidden fury he met in the almost violet stare, made his nerves tingle painfully, sent hot shockwaves through his body. Jack straightened, threw an unmistakably disdainful glance at the younger man, before he left the bathroom, pushing Chase out of his way, still pressing a hand against his belly.
When he passed him Chase opened his mouth in a silent attempt to deliver a useless explanation. “Save your breath, boy!” The sharp voice stopped him before he could make another effort. Jack leant against the window frame, regarding the night covering the city like a warm coat. “Accept this as an end, Chase. There is nothing else you can do.”
“No, I won ‘ t.” Chase crossed the room, reaching out for the other man, who turned immediately, avoiding his grip. “Try to be an adult and take what you can ‘ t change.”
The young man ‘ s world turned red, when the seething volcano came closer to eruption.
“I ‘ ve taken enough,” he breathed. “And I would take more, would take anything without complaining... but... but I don ‘ t ... I won ‘ t ... there is no reason for your contempt.”
“I ‘ m not contempting you, Chase. I only want to have you out of my life.”
“That ‘ s not the truth... I know it.”
“It is, and you better start to accept it, before it will become really ugly.”
“Jack!”
Chase reached out for him, but prepared Jack slipped away again.
“Face the truth, you have no future here.”
“I ‘ ll build one. I can do it.”
Jack made another try to convince the young man, adding a subliminal plea to his demanding tone. “Do yourself a favor and give up.” “Never!” Chase responded allowing his emotions to push each reasonable thought away.
“Then you will have to deal with your decision.”
The blond put up his arms in order to shove the larger man out of his way. But Chase acted faster.
“You love me Jack, I know you do.” He urged the smaller shape against the grey house wall, raising his hands to prop himself up against it, enclosing Jack between his arms.
Jack faced him without flinching.
“Don ‘ t make me say it, Chase!”
He stood motionless, making no attempt to escape, but challenging the dark-haired without more words.
Green eyes explored Jack ‘ s mind.
“I want you to admit it. Speak the truth, Jack. Say it!”
“Don ‘ t insist. You don ‘ t want to hear it.”
“I want to.”
Chase moved closer, reducing the space between their bodies until he could feel the other man ‘ s heat, smell his distress and he pushed further, lowered his head, breathed into his ear, slowly pressing his groin against the lean waist, trapped between him and the wall, making him aware of his arousal. Fingers closed around Chase ‘ s wrists and Jack twisted, forced Chase to meet his gaze. The blue stare hypnotized, hold him in place, opened up in honesty. “I never loved you, Chase. Right now I hate your guts and probably that ‘ s how I felt from the start. Just hadn ‘ t the strength to push you away. So - consider it my fault.”
“That isn ‘ t true. You ‘ re lying to me. Don ‘ t dare to lie to me!”
He tore away from Jack ‘ s grip, shifted using his elbow to fix the blond in place, immobilizing him by squeezing his throat.
“I ‘ m not...,” Jack coughed.
“Then prove me... give me a proof for your words.”
Chase ‘ s free hand closed around Jack ‘ s now clenched fist, slammed it against the wall well- knowing he would hurt him.
“Show me, that you hate me... fight me.”
He pressed his whole length against him, giving the other one no room to move.
“Don ‘ t pretend to be weak!” He breathed down on him. “You can do it. Defend yourself.”
Angry eyes locked again, exchanging flames, until Jack lowered his gaze.
“You ‘ re not worth it,” he hissed, barely parting his teeths, stiffening in disgust.

 
* * * * *

 
For a heartbeat the world seemed to stand still. Jack felt Chase ‘ s eyes on him, burning like fire. Then the paralyzation was gone and Chase lost whatever had held him back. He let go of Jack, but only to shove him against the wall forcefully. Same time his fists developed their own rhythm, hitting, slamming against the motionless body in front of him. Jack was holding still, looking down, avoided to see the furious features, even refused to raise his arms in front of his body in order to protect himself.
Chase lashed out again and again, placed hard blows into the face, against the upper body, couldn ‘ t stop his rage from exploding.
“You bloody, pathetic junkie!” He panted huskily.
“Fight!” His voice sounded hoarse to himself coming from an undiscovered part of his being and he cried louder, when the shape in front of him wasn ‘ t responding.
”Show me... prove me....”
He grapped his shoulders, shook him violently, but still wasn ‘ t gaining a reaction. Finally Jack ‘s hands came up, moved to the split lips, but his eyes still stared downwards, ignoring the attacker deliberately.
“Feeling better now?” Jack asked low, receiving another violent blast into his stomach.
“Fight me, Jack... show me your hate!”
Jack coughed again, bent forward near vomiting. He stumbled, fell, but another stroke hit him into his face, urging him backwards against the wall again.
“Chase... .”
“Come on... defend yourself... beat me up, Jack. I know you ‘ re up to it... .” Chase was out of his mind. Jack putting up no resistance increased his anger. He pushed him violently, clinging to his anger, eager to force away his hurt and disappointment. Pressing him against the hard stone again, fixing his arms in an iron grip he leant down.
“Fight”, he gasped. “Don ‘ t give me that shit!”
He breathed heavily, felt the need to scream, to smash something, but instead Chase still held the other man close.
“You can ‘ t... you can ‘ t do it”, he wheezed. “You can ‘ t because you ‘ re in love with me... you feel for me.”
Jack closed his eyes, allowed his fatigue to rule, when he gave up the tension in his muscles, went limp. But Chase didn ‘ t care, held him in place.
“Say it.” The younger man mumbled the words.
“Say what you feel. Speak it out... .” He whispered into Jack ‘ s ear.
The blond opened his mouth in slow motion.
“Go ‘ way Chase... .”
“Say it loud.” Chase shoved him against the wall. “Tell me... .”
He punched Jack ‘ s face again willing to gain a reaction, but failed, closed the created distance at last and threw his arms around the downwards sinking figure. He embraced him, rubbing his body up and down in a clearly demanding manner, pressing against the smaller man as if he intended to squeeze the life out of him.
“Then show me otherwise,” he panted. “Show me you love me.”
Without caring about the inconsistency of his weird actions his lips found the other man ‘ s throat and he sucked on the tender skin, pulling Jack slightly upwards. His teeths glided along the soft neck while his hardness on Jack ‘ s thigh left no doubt about his already awoken passion.
“I want you to prove it”, he breathed too far gone to explain the kind of that proof, too far gone to stick to words anymore.
The pressure built deep in his mind couldn ‘ t be stopped from taking over, from exploding in a series of uncontrolled aggressions.
Jack still refused to react. Besides his hands unconsciously trying to reject the taller man ‘ s advances, to shove him aside powerlessly, he remained limp, motionless, without defeat, his rattling breath the only sign of consciousness.
Chase searched with his hot lips the other man ‘ s face, devoured the damaged mouth with his own, sucking carelessly, tasting Jack ‘ s blood on his tongue. “Show me...,” he demanded again. “Or... I ‘ ll show you.” He licked around the auricle, and turned the blond around without losing his hold on him. Biting the other ear from behind until he could hear a short gasp of pain he pushed Jack forward and forced him down on the couchtable in one motion. Pressing him down with on arm on his back he used the other hand to undo the zipper of his jeans, noticeing the belt still open... still inviting him.
His weight resting on the slim body, he returned to his kissing and licking of the throat, leaving Jack no possibility to move, even if he had wanted to. Chase ‘ s hands slipped under Jack ‘ s shirt, ran up the sides and down the back, before they freed the lower body quickly. “What do you want,” Chase gasped huskily, feeling the pounding of the heart beneath him quicken its pace, when he made Jack sense his rock-hard shaft rubbing against his butt. “Don ‘ t dare...”, Jack warned him hoarsely, but Chase had already opened his own trousers and moved his aching member out of the restraining fabric.
“You love me,” he grunted, unable to bear the tension any longer, and pushed his painfully pulsating cock into the soft entrance, passing the barriers without preparation, strong and merciless. Jack had never been so tight, and Chase froze when he had shoved his way in, overwhelmed by the sensations. His fingers had wandered up the slim body again, moving around Jack ‘ s chest, while Chase ‘ s weight immobilized the blond. Jack breathed heavily, but despite a strangled sound nothing could be heard from him.
Chase panted, when he propped himself up and managed to pull out nearly completely, before he pushed in again, getting deeper this time.
Jack had relaxed and from the squirming and the audible intake of air, Chase could tell, that he had angled right. Encouraged he repeated the action, getting better access, gliding deeper with each hard stroke. He increased the pace, found a rhythm, finally grabbed Jack ‘ s hips and pulled them up to him, slamming into the smaller body, wanting, needing more than the simple act could give. Grunting and groaning Chase searched his way to completion, taking Jack with him, riding him hard and fast, filling him again and again with his hotness, showing his desire forcefully. With a strangled cry he came, shooting his hot fluid into the welcoming flesh, shivering from the power of his release. Exhausted he collapsed on the damp body, holding the man, clinging to him in desperation, because he still felt far away from satisfaction. Then the phone rang.

 
Jack shifted immediately, pushed the taller man from his back, shoved him away in a sudden hurry. He stood up at once, re-gaining his balance quickly enough to pull up his jeans with shivering hands. Reaching out for support he used the wall to prevent him from stumbling, when he rushed forward towards the shrilling noise.
Chase rolled around and propped himself up, intending to lean against the table. His heart still hammered in his chest and he felt his knees shaking violently. They couldn ‘ t hold his weight any longer and so he slid down until he came to a rest on the floor, encircling his legs with his arms, burying his face into the sleeves of his sweater.
He listened to Jack answering the call with few, short words. Hiding in a world beyond this reality the sounds took their time until they became understandable for him, and not until then he started to wonder from a distance, that Jack wasn ‘ t mentioning his name as he was used to, changing the conversation into a personnel encounter leaving him out.
“Yes.” The husky voice was heard. “You have your deal, I ‘ ll do it.”
Nothing more.
The connection was disrupted.
Jack stared at the phone for long seconds, wetness glistening in his eyes. He turned at last, face down, fumbling with his belt until he had closed it. His gaze wandered over Chase and he swallowed dryly, taking some steps back until he rested in the middle of the room, standing there quietly, waiting for something he couldn ‘ t put in words.

 
Chase felt strangled. He tried to breathe, but the air resisted to enter his lungs. The anger was gone, replaced by disbelief and the undefined weight of guilt. Maybe he should stay there, physically gone, watching the end without being able to interfere anymore. His head shot up and he violently sucked, trying to force the refusing oxygen into his body. A cramp shook him and his chest burned, moving up and down uncontrolled.
He winced when his world came back into sight, when Jack took shape in front of him, looking down without giving away anything.
Chase ‘ s mouth formed words, but he wasn ‘ t able to say them loud, they were stiffled in his throat.
“Jack”, he finally managed to croak, becoming aware of his submissive position and appearance towards the other man.
The blue eyes watched him move, but showed no reaction, no single sign revealing the thoughts of their owner.
Chase got up slowly, feeling awkward, when he re-arranged his clothes,drew the briefs in place covering the now flaccid penis and closed his pants under the silent stare. He wasn ‘ t ready to come nearer to Jack, than he already was, and so he remained still, asking himself if there existed a way to get over this. The passing time seemed to have no ending, though they shared only minutes in uncomfortable silence.
Then Chase straightened, pushing himself forward, his flickering eyelids the only hint on his deep insecurity.
Jack’s immediate startling made him pull back in shock and he had no choice but to retreat, when the other man stepped back and vanished quickly behind the bathroom door.
Chase stared at it, tried to make out a sound, desperately tried to imagine what Jack intended to do. Nothing could be heard and the younger man inwardly torn by his disturbing emotions, hurt by his own behaviour felt his worry grow, the presentiment of a future disaster overcoming the sickness he felt by his memories. Unable to bear the uncertainty any longer he carefully came nearer, touching the smooth material, when he leant against it.
“I ‘ m so ... forgive me.. .”, he whispered barely audible. “I ‘ ve never forced anyone... I... I don ‘ t know what ‘ s happening to me... .”
He waited silently, his heart breaking by the voidness he sensed in there, hidden from his eyes.
“Jack.... we... I... I ‘ ll do everything... .”
Chase paused, fear overwhelming him. Adrenaline kicked in, caused a reaction before he had the chance to consider its results.
He was ready to break the door open, aiming already at his target, when he noticed, that Jack hadn ‘ t made the effort to lock it.
Hastily he shoved it open, blinked against the brighter light reflected by the blank tiles.
Jack sat on the floor near the sink, eyes closed, head sunk back against the wall. Chase cleared his throat, while he regarded the situation, the up-rolled sleeve, the garbage can at Jack ‘ s side.
Jack moved his head aside, eyes remaining like they had been.
“What?” He whispered too low to demonstrate his annoyance. “Still not enough?”
Chase felt the stroke hitting him and blushed, while electricity shot through his veins, making him squirm with shame.
“Have you... what have you...”, he muttered hoarsely.
“Nothing!” Jack breathed, opened his eyes at last. “No final trip. Still have work to do...”
“Do you... .”
“I ‘ m ok, Chase... ok...”, he mumbled low.
“Jack.... I ‘ m so... so... .”
The blond slowly moved his head again, closing his eyes again.
“Forget it, Chase. I don ‘ t mind... .”
“Could you ever... .”
Jack opened his lips and sighed audibly before he spoke again.
“Would you help me up? I want a better place to... to... .” He silenced distracted from his thought.
“Sure... .” Chase came closer, gripped the smaller man carefully around his waist. Leaning his head against his shoulder he carefully pulled him up, directed him to a more comfortable setting, to the bed promising a dreamless sleep. * * * * *

 
Jack slept deeply, his body motionless like a corpse. Chase, on the other hand, couldn ‘ t find peace. He threw himself from one side to another, restlessly trying to drive away the demons present between this walls. Hesitating at first he had decided to take his place at Jack ‘s side again, half-fearing, half-hoping the other man would bring up the strength to chase him away. But nothing had happened. He had slipped under the covers, carefully laid an arm around Jack ‘ s shoulders, determined to let the contact appear light, almost featherly, but same time searching the warmth and the comfort of another body.
Jack hadn ‘ t even stirred, in fact he seemed to relax, when Chase intensified the embrace just a little bit, just enough to assure him, that he wasn ‘ t alone. And though his sleep seemed to be the result of complete exhaustion, a break from the strains of life, the expression of unequalled sorrow never left his features. Chase stayed awake for long hours staring at the ceiling, running over the events in his mind again and again without finding a clue, a solution, a way out of the mess he ‘ d brought themselves in. Maybe Jack would forgive him, maybe he would understand... maybe it all wasn ‘ t touching him anymore. Chase felt guilty and helpless, not able to imagine how this tragedy might end. Finally he surrendered, once again reached for the alcohol to relieve the turmoil in his brain.
It wasn ‘ t making things easier, flashes of Connors face, of his touch mixed with his own actions and he found himself groaning in pain, though he couldn ‘ t recognize if it was his pain or if it belonged to someone different. He dreamt of Andrew, who took him away from this place, who offered him security and an existence far away from here, but he saw himself running away from it repeatedly, over and over again as if he wasn ‘ t able to stand another life, as if his fate was already sealed. He drank more, wanted to fade away, to forget, to stop his thoughts but he couldn ‘ t reach his aim. All he could feel at last was Jack ‘ s glowing body beneath him, were his movements driving him crazy again and again, and he knew that he wouldn ‘ t be able to give this up, not until the day he would die. The damp skin still burnt on his fingertips, the scent of passion filled the room and Chase took another gulp wishing that he would be strong enough to force away the obsession holding his heart and mind imprisoned for years, concentrating on his groin, developing depth in his own soul he had never expected.
 
Morning came close, when he finally crawled back into the bed again, took Jack into a close embrace, resting his head against the smaller man ‘ s throat, caressing his chest with lazy, tender strokes, while his legs entangled with his. With a last sigh he drifted off to sleep, thankful for this moment. * * * * *

 
Hours later he woke up, sensing disturbing vibes encircling him. He was alone, he knew it at once, Jack was gone.
Vaguely he remembered motions next to him, a warm body pulling back in haste, the shrilling sound he couldn ‘ t connect with a real event, the deep voice answering, agreeing and remaining silent at last. Sensations of a gaze capturing him, of blue eyes staring down on him, painful, hurt, ready to meet a fate, which left him out of the loop.
Soft lips placing a last kiss on his, sweet and seducing in its innocence, tasting like farewell, like a final good bye, a bitter taste, sending cold shivers through his aching heart. He remembered reaching out for him, trying to follow, to talk, but gravity held him down, his body couldn ‘ t react like his exhausted mind tried to order him.
And now it was too late. He felt, that Jack must have left earlier, that he had sunk into sleep again, maybe only dreaming what he was tempted to judge as a memory. Holding his head he managed to sit up pressing his eyelids shut against the sudden light invading from the outside.
He had to do something, the whole situation made no sense. With sudden clearness he was reminded on the strange call of the last night. He hadn ‘ t payed attention, but the words Jack had spoken hadn ‘ t sounded like him. His gaze fell on the phone and he recognized it wasn ‘ t hung up. Instead the annoying sound it made, might have been the reason, why he had woken up. Slowly he stood up, rubbing his temple and approached the place destined for makingand receiving calls. Not only the phone seemed to be left in a hurry, a hastily written note caught his attention, too. Confusion made his stomach turn and above all the undeniable feeling of something horrible to happen laid its heavy weight on him. He tried to use the phone but it had given up his functions. In an inexplicable hurry he picked his clothes from the floor, slid into them, stuffed the paper into his pocket and left the apartment, without taking the time to lock the door behind him. Some strange feeling told him, that it wouldn ‘ t be necessary anymore.
* * * * *
Chase rushed into the building. He had run, driven by an inexplicable urge.
“Chase! Thank God!” Chloe met him half-way in. “I ‘ ve just tried to reach you, but your phone isn t working.”
“Where is he, Chloe?” Chase stopped panting and grabbed her arms. “He had been here... tell me what he had said.”
“I ‘ m...”, Chloe startled.
“Mr. Edmunds!” Bill ‘ s sharp voice reached him. “This won ‘ t be discussed down there.”
He waved him up to his office. Chloe followed automatically.
When they had entered he closed the door carefully.
“Chase... we have some bad news.” He sighed and went around his desk, regarding his monitor concerned.
“What is it?” Chase ‘ s mouth went dry.
“We ‘ ve found evidence, that Heller plays a part in the organization, and still worse..., that he might have brought Connors back into the country probably with the help of Theo Stoller. Chase went pale. “He ‘ s here?”, He whispered breathlessly. That ‘ s what it all could be about.
“Jack?” His voice allowed nothing more than a toneless croak.
Bill glanced at him uncomfortably.
“Jack knows.” He rubbed his forehead. “We learned the news today for had decided to keep us in the dark before.”
“What has he done?” Chase tried to control his confusion.
Bill threw an awkward glance at him. “We found hints on him collaborating.”
“Beg you pardon?” Chase stared at him in disbelief, a deep chuckle breaking its way. “What are you trying to tell me?”
Bill leant over his desk, pushing some buttons.
“Bring Morris in here, immediately!”, he commanded.
An instant later two security guards appeared, Morris walking between them.
“What ‘ s that supposed to mean?”
“It ‘ s a mistake”, Morris stated. “A very stupid mistake. I ‘ ve done nothing wrong.”
“I believe you”, Bill answered. “But we have to be sure. Fact is that you had informations and kept them locked.”
“I simply followed Jack ‘ s orders like you told me to.”
“We have to put a sense into this mess.” Bill turned to the young man. “Chase...! Jack followed a trail, that led him to Stoller yesterday, maybe not yet knowing that the man had changed sides. We only can imagine, that he ‘ d find proof on Connors presence in L.A. then, but it ‘ s possible, that he had awaited him earlier. Jack and Morris had been aware of the connection between Heller and Connors and kept it secret.” He looked back to Morris. “We have to find out if you knew before yesterday about his arrival, if there were any contacts... .” Morris shook his head. “Don ‘ t shove this on me! We had hints and Jack suspects went into more than one direction. He ordered me to fake some messages, to build up connections, but dealt with the rest alone. We had no proof for anything, so he decided to act on his own. That ‘ s all I know, besides him telling me you were informed.”
“Well, you noticed, that I wasn ‘ t...”
“Hey... I have to trust someone... .”
“I don ‘ t understand a single word,” Chase murmured impatiently. “This all sounds crazy to me.”
The head of CTU ran his hands through the short hair. “Seems like Jack had showed up this morning. He left few messages, organized some equipment, technological stuff, weapons, ammunition... . And he told Morris... .” “He said, he had found a solution.”
Chloe shook her head. “Tell him how he looked like!”
Morris squirmed. “He looked like shit. But honestly... he always does... I mean... since China... .”
He stopped, watching Chase intently.
“So... you don ‘ t believe him?” Chase ‘ s head shot up. “You want to tell me that he ‘ s dealing behind your back?”
“Hey!” Morris raised his hands in defense. “I ‘ m on his side, boy. Maybe he ‘ s not telling everything, but there might be reasons for his behaviour.”
Bill stared through the glass searching for the right words when Chloe adressed Chase, stepped fully into his sight.
“I ‘ ve went through his computer stuff. Sorry Morris... but I know how he ‘ s working and he had a reason to leave me out of this. I found... .”
“You ‘ re not better than me, Chloe!”
“That ‘ s not what I ‘ m saying.” Chloe rolled her eyes. “I just know his ways, the kind he ‘ s handling stuff. He ‘ s good in protecting informations, but not good enough. Especially if he intends to leave a trace...” “What trace?”
“He pointed us into the direction of Heller. Washington is already informed.”
Chloe ‘ s eyes met Bill ‘s, when he took over. “I wanted him to search Connors and he... it looks like he saw no other way than to offer him something, something tempting enough for the bastard to leave his hide-out.” “What would he offer?” Chase ‘ s throat hurt, when he forced out the words.
Bill and Chloe changed another look and Chloe stepped closer to the young man, touching his arm.
“I ‘ m sorry, Chase.” Bill looked down. “He offered your death. Jack secured the files on his hard disk, obviously expecting, that we would discover them... after... .” He gulped audibly. “You ‘ re friends, partners... and I know Jack good enough to realize, that he might have a plan, that he is trying to find another way... but right know it looks like he... he sees no other possibility than to murder you in order to destroy this Connors and his influence. It ‘ s not making much sense... I know... he... he gave us the means to keep hold of this bastard, to follow his connections. What we still need is a proof... a.... .” “A dead body, you can nail him on.”
Bill nodded shortly. “Connors made the fault to come here. We won ‘ t let him go again. But we have no chance... without... .”
“I know Jack wouldn ‘ t be able to kill you,” Chloe interfered. “Also he had left no trace of where he went or where Connors can be found. The whole mess is quite disturbing.” “Yes”, Chase whispered and silenced, thoughts running through his mind. “Disturbing.”
Bill watched him scrutinizing. “Do you have another opinion, Chase? You lived with him during the past days. Anything we should know?”
Chase ‘ s face went still paler than before and Bill felt encouraged to dig deeper. “Have you any reason to believe that he would consider your murder as a possibility. We... we noticed, that he ‘ s not himself since... for a long time now... and I ‘ m sorry we hadn ‘ t paid attention... .” “That is ridiculous, Bill.” Chloe stared at him angry. “Jack would never... never... .”
“He... .”
“Yes?” Bill turned back to Chase, who felt the blood vanish from his face. “He... he received a strange call yesterday... and he... .”
“Go on, Chase!”
“I... I would understand him considering this possibility. If he... he ‘ s only trying to do the right thing.”
“What he supposes to be the right thing...”, Chloe mentioned. “You can ‘ t say that in earnest, Chase.”
Chase dropped his gaze. “I don ‘ t know”, he murmured. “Really... I don ‘ t know.”
“Ok.” Bill returned to his monitor. “We ‘ ll keep you here, Chase. Where do you think would he try to hide after... what can he have in his mind?”
Chase shook his head. “He don ‘ t cares anymore.”
Bill stared at him intently. “Think properly, Chase. You are the only one who might know!”
The younger man swallowed. “I need... can I have some water?”
“Sure! You ‘ ll try to remember and I ‘ ll set up security for you.”
Chloe took him down but after a few steps he stood still. “What equipment had he taken with him? Maybe... .”
“She handed him a bottle of water and vanished only to return after a minute with a list.”
“Usual field stuff, flak jacket, guns, records... take a look.” She handed him the list.
He stared down, then gave it back to her. “Excuse me for a moment.”
“Chase!” Her fingers touched his slightly. “I don ‘ t believe this. There has to be another explanation.”
The young man smiled at her loop-sided. “Just a moment, Chloe. Will be right back soon.”
Her eyes followed him, when he headed for the washrooms. No matter how wrong their relationship might be, she would never believe that it would end with murder.
* * * * *

 
Chase fell on the bench. He immediately went through his pockets until he caught the paper he had saved before.
The adress shown on it still made no sense to him, but it was the only possibility he could see.
And he needed to act quickly. He listened a moment, but when no one seemed to approach the room he slid up and opened the small window noiselessly, slipped through it outside. He crawled down the fire escape and headed for the garage, using the house wall for cover. He hid in the shadows.when three field agents who had just been busy uploading the SUV, vanished through the exit door. They were completely prepared, ready to start and as far as he coould see it, the vehicle already contained what they would need. He slid closer, knocked the single agent who arranged the bugging devices out by kicking his leg away and using his elbow to cut off the air supply until the man sank down unconsciously.
A moment later he drove the car backwards and reached the streets. Chase stepped on the gas, eager not to lose a second.
* * * * *

 
“Where is he?” Chloe stared at Bill, lips pressed together in annoyance.
“Back in the washrooms.”
“Chloe!”
He rushed forward.
“Damnit!” Bill needed one look to recognize which way Chase had taken.
“Find him,” he yelled, when his gaze fell on the small paper caught under the bench.
He stared at the note, turned around in a hurry.
“We have an adress. Get the teams ready!”
* * * * *

 
The last place he had expected.
Jack smirked with the thought. What a stupid idea, though he had to admit that for its purpose Connors couldn ‘ t have found a better scenery.
The hall stood empty at least for weeks as the dust everywhere was proving.
Maybe it wasn ‘ t the season for this kind of movies.
He supposed it was used primarily for filming gun battles, shootings, pyrotechnic effects or experiments. The shed definitely had seen better days.
No need to hide the cameras he discovered in the corners though Jack expected an accidental intruder to wonder about the presence of various pieces of film equipment, prepared and attended by invisible hands. Jack walked through the hall missing any sign of a living person.
He shivered from coldness and the hands holding the gun were damp, he feared to lose his grip on it.
Anyway, what sense would it make to explore the building. Wouldn ‘ t make a change at all, neither would it offer him new conclusions.
He lowered the weapon, wiped icy sweat from his forehead.
The morning light shone mercilessly through the blinds, painting dirty stripes into the restless air.
He was damned to wait, the only thing he could do.
Jack took in a shaking breath and his knees gave in.
Slowly he slid down the wall, resting on the floor, the weapon still in his trembling hand.

 
* * * * *

 
“How could this happen?”
Bill screamed at the man. “Nobody is expected to come in here besides the teams.”
“I... we couldn ‘ t foresee that there would be any danger... .”
Bill groaned angrily. “And how on earth could he leave with the car... ?”
The other man winced. “The guard mentioned that he wore a badge.”
“Great. I ‘ ll teach him to watch these papers properly.”
Bill cursed once again. “How soon will you be ready?”
The agents moved quickly.
“We ‘ re about to leave, Mr. Buchanan. Helicopters will be available each moment.”
“Alright.” Bill glanced to Chloe. “Let ‘ s hope that we ‘ ll find Chase before Jack does.”
* * * * *

 
Screeching brakes hurt his ears.
Chase regarded the building. He pulled on a jacket and checked the guns he ‘ d chosen for ammunition. If Connors was here, the man would be already dead.
Carefully he approached the hall.
Empty and abandoned it waited for him.
No cars, no hints on anything alive.
* * * * *

 
“Don ‘ t fall asleep, Jacky-boy!”
The metallic voice startled him.
Jack looked up, way too dizzy to try to get on his feet. He cleared his throat, tried to fight his panic.
“I ‘ m here like you wanted.”
He looked up only to make out a man-seized shadow against the openings allowing the sun to penetrate the shed.
“That wasn’t exactly the deal.”
“It hasn ‘ t yet begun, Connors.”

 
“Hope you won ‘ t deceive me, Jack. My orders are clear.”
“How will I know that I can trust you,” Jack breathed.
“You won ‘ t,” the pitiless voice answered. “Consider it as the risk of life.”
It paused.
“Talking about risks. Don ‘ t you think you should seek cover? He might be out of training but above all your friend is an experted agent too.
I doubt that he ‘ ll allow you to shoot him that easy without putting up a kind of defense. Self-preservation can be a powerful instinct.”
Jack came up with a groan.
“Thought you insisted on a show.”
“A good show, Jack, a believable one. Executions are no fun.”

 
The blond shoved his gun back into his waistband.
“I ‘ ll provide you with one,” he murmured before he drew back further into the depths of the building.
Jack wasn ‘ t mistaken. The strong feeling grew, he nearly could see Chase approaching the hall, searching, testing, doubting that he had followed the right trail. He sensed his insecurity, the questions running through his mind, the desperate effort to convince himself from another reality than the one offered to him.
Strange that the smile returned to his lips, an inappropriate expression concerning the seriousness of the situation. But he couldn ‘ t help it. Chase was predictable in an astonishing way, at least from time to time. Patiently he waited for the distance between them to become closed.
* * * * *
 
Chase entered the building silently sneaking through the gap allowing him an easy access.
He craved for an explanation, Jack owed him that much. Despite everything that had happened he knew the man and he knew in perfect clearness that the older man loved him, needed him, depended on him. That he would never be able to hurt him, not after all the things they had shared.
They were connected deeply, their souls communicating on a higher level,their relationship proving to be more intense than any one he had ever experienced, he had ever known of before.
Whatever Jack might plan, he needed him for the carrying out. And he intended to be there for him, to be there with him. That ‘ s what he owed Jack.

 
It was darker inside, the sun had lost its power to blind him and he needed a moment to adjust.
No sound except the low humming of some working film equipment he discovered a moment later filled the space.
Despite the strong feeling that he had found the right place in here the surroundings confused him more and he wasn ‘ t able to put a sense in it. It seemed to be irreal, a fake, and he remembered Jack ‘ s ability to fool nearly everyone he wanted to.
Slowly he walked further inside, touching his flak jacket in an attempt to prove its presence to himself. If a performance was needed, he would be up to it.
* * * * *
 
“I ‘ ve told you to back off, Chase. More than once.”
Chase barely recognized the voice, husky and void, containing no emotion.
“It ‘ s your fault, boy. I tried to keep you out of this.”
“It ‘ s not in your hands, Jack. I belong in here as much as you do.”
A hoarse laughter rising from nowhere vanished as soon as it was created.
“You ‘ ll never learn, Chase, won ‘ t you? And now it ‘ s too late. You ‘ ve sealed your own fate.”
“What shall I do Jack.... please... tell me what I should do!”
The answer came fast and sharp.
“Nothing. You can do nothing anymore. The die is cast, Chase.”
He noticed a movement in the background. A small shape, more familiar to him than any other shape he ‘ d ever seen removed from the shadows.
“I promised to shoot you right between your eyes and you know I ‘ m capable of doing it. You left me no other way. I ‘ d say I regret it, but it wouldn ‘ t be the truth. And I ‘ ve the strong feeling you know what I ‘ m talking about.”

 
“Jack... you won ‘ t.”
“How will you know, Chase? Believe me for once. It ‘ s you or me... and... honestly... I ‘ m not sure, if kicking you from earth would be a sin.

 
“You don ‘ t have to pretend anything, Jack. I ‘ m on your side. We ‘ ll work it out together.”

 
Jack stepped out of the shadows.
“You don ‘ t think that I ‘ ll work out anything together with you, Chase.”

 
Even from the distance Chase felt the anger behind this voice, a cold anger, determined, ready to act no matter at what costs.
And for the first time he really recognized the possibility that Jack would shoot him... and that he won ‘ t regret it.
Cool slimy fear ran down his spine.
Maybe he should believe the worst, maybe he had lost Jack, maybe the world had lost Jack.

 
His view darkened, yet he could see the other man move slowly like he ‘ d seen him countless times before, pulling out his weapon, aiming the deadly instrument directly at him.

 
“I have no choice,” Jack spoke and the sound cracked in Chase ‘ s ears. “Make your peace, Chase. I won ‘ t ask you to forgive me for it ‘ s far too late, after all I ‘ ve done to you.”

 
“Jack!” Chase grabbed for his gun, not able to believe that they really were able to threaten each other. “We don ‘ t have to do this... .”

 
“Shut up, Chase!” Jack sounded rock-hard, merciless. “One of us is expected to die and we both know, that I ‘ m the better agent. Give in, son and don ‘ t make this last.”
“Jack!”
“It’s all said.”
Chase watched the gun being raised slightly upwards, the last sign, the last hint on the inevitable explosion driving the deadly bullet forward until it would destroy his living aim in less than a second.
His instincts gained the rule and though his insides screamed in horror he couldn ‘ t stop what seemed to be destined for him. Like watching himself from a place outside of his body he wasn ‘ t feeling, wasn ‘ t recognizing the events.
His hands, reaching firmly for the gun in front, his arms, drawing the weapon upwards, his fingers, pulling the trigger. And pulling it again and again, while the force of the shots tried to drive him backwards.
He shot again, meeting his aim perfectly, hitting the chest where he expected Jack to wear his protection as he always does. Jack stumbled backwards, stood motionless for a moment, while the gun slid from his fingers.
Chase looked up, someone dealt with a camera and weird sounds made him shake though he wasn ‘ t knowing if they only could be heard in his imagination.

 
Tears blurred his sight and increased the impression of irreality. Through the grey fog he watched Jack crumple and fall, sliding down the wall which had stopped his retreat.
With a strangled cry Chase dropped his gun and ran forward. He had met him where he had intended to, the jacket would have protected his life.
But when he came nearer he knew.
He noticed the blood dripping from the corner of Jack ‘ s mouth before he could see the dark spots forming on his shirt where the hot fluid seeped from the fresh wounds.
“No...,” Chase shouted in panic. The blue eyes wide open in pain burnt into his heart.
“No,” he whispered, when he fell down on his knees beside the other man.
“You did it,” Jack breathed, clutching at the fabric of his sweater.
“I... I hadn ‘ t....” Chase bent over him, frantically searching a way to stop the bleeding. The material covering the injured chest was already soaked with the blood oozing from the damaged body.
“Jack.... why... how could you?”
Chase felt the stream of tears running down his cheeks while he clung to the pale figure beneath him.
“Hold on Jack,” he stammered. “There will be help here soon... just stay strong... please... .”
Jack coughed. A torrent of blood emitted from his mouth and the whole body shuddered violently.
Chase took the shaking man into his arms pulling him slightly upwards, rocking him tenderly while the screams which wanted to escape him were sticked in his throat.
“You may not... you may not...,” he managed to groan between the painful sobs influencing his movements.
Another cough shook the blond and Jack pressed his eyes shut for a moment. When the motion had stilled his trembling fingers came up and touched Chase ‘ s cheek featherly leaving red traces on the pale skin.
“You did right,” Jack whispered nearly audible and Chase pulled him closer, brought his lips to his ear in order to understand him better while his tears mixed with the blood on the other man ‘ s face.
“I ‘ ll be with... him again... .” Jack took in his breath shakily, his eyes searched for Chase ‘ s.
The green stare blinded by the salty water met Jack ‘ s breaking gaze.
“You can ‘ t do that to me, Jack.... you can ‘ t...,” Chase pleaded. “Don ‘ t leave me... please... .”
He held Jack tight in a forceful embrace clinging to the hope that his hold would provide him with the sparkle of life they both knew was fading away.
“I ‘ m sorry...”
Jack ‘ s lips moved in a fruitless attempt to articulate the words and his gaze wandered to the high ceiling above them. His eyes stared into the void, seemed to see what no living being was able to see, before he took in his last breath.

 
Chase still rocked him in his arms feeling his last tremble, sensing the tension leave his body, seeing how the blue eyes became empty when the heart finally stopped its fight.

 
An overwhelming silence covered them. Chase felt the world stop turning for an instant, believed his own heart had stopped to beat.
But it hadn ‘ t. The blood still pumped through his veins, the hands still clung to the motionless body and the tears continued to fall.
But he was silent now, no sound escaped his mouth though it remained open to let the cries out which builded up inside of him.
A heartbeat lasted an eternity when Chase gave in to the sorrow.
He kissed the hair, the forehead, the lips not minding about the blood. His own clothes were already soaked with it and it wasn ‘ t bothering him, nothing was important but the lifeless shape in his arms.

 
“Well done, Edmunds.” A voice demanded attention. “You ‘ d better run before CTU insits on an explanation.”
Chase ignored it, ignored the hoarse laughter following.
He stopped stroking the limp form, moved his hand to his pocket, and pulled an object out.
Tenderly, lovingly he removed from Jack ‘ s body and leant him against the wall for support.
He drew his fingers into his own, opened them carefully.
Chase watched the silver chain gliding into the bloody hand and closed the fingers around the symbol connected with it.
“I hope you both will find your peace,” he whispered and pressed his lips on the the hand which had been able to be strong and weak at the same time.

 
In one fluid motion he let go and stood up unexpectedly, whirling around while he grabbed the weapon stuffed into the back of his jeans.
“Die, you goddamn bastard,” he shouted, his voice clanging cold in his ears, and fired.
He fired until the magazine was empty and still pulled the trigger more sensing than seeing the man above him stagger slightly forward before he tumbled down, fell from where he had hidden until he hit the hard ground.

 
He still tried to fill the motionless body with bullets when the teams broke into the building screaming their orders, taking over the lead.
He put up no resistance when they disarmed him, cuffed his hands roughly behind his back. He never wondered when Bill followed the agents taking in the situation: Jack ‘ s dead body leaning against the wall, Chase arrested and another smashed corpse beside him.
“Chase!” He came nearer, eyes wide in shock. “What happened?”
Chase stared at him, his gaze clouded, his mind returning from a secret hide-out.
“I ‘ ve killed Connors,” he muttered still out of reality. “I ‘ ve killed him. It ‘ s what Jack wanted, what he had died for.”
A desperate smile played around his lips when he met Bill ‘ s gaze.
The older man stepped closer, laid a hand on his shoulder.
“This isn ‘ t Connors,” he said. “Nobody is here in spite of Theo Stoller. Connor is gone.”
Chase glanced at him in confusion, not able to understand the words. He looked back at Jack and his mind refused to overcome the sight.
Finally he broke down, his thoughts drifting away from the trap he found himself enclosed.
* * * * *

 
 
They had let him go. He couldn ‘ t understand why or for what purpose and he didn ‘ t care.
He stood alone on the street, no idea of where to go, no idea how he was supposed to move on.
Chase turned his back to the building and tried to walk away but his legs refused to obey him.
He had lost the grip on the time he had spent being interrogated, attempting again and again to recall the events, to remember, to understand.
Only one thing finally had become clear to him.
Jack had tricked him, had wanted him to act as his murderer.
And no matter what explanation Bill had come up with, the proof that they had been blackmailed, that Jack might have seen himself forced to react this way - nothing could convince Chase that he might have had no other choice. Obviously the others weren ‘ t considering him as the criminal he felt like. Self-defense remained a key word and he hadn ‘ t been able to change the image they painted.
Deep inside he knew that it hadn ‘ t been this way, that there existed no excuse for him, for what he had done, and that there never would be one.
Only one person beside himself he could make responsible and the pure thought of this man fed the flames of hate burning deep inside him.
He stumbled, felt weak, exhausted.
How many hours... days he must have spent in that interrogation room, time only interrupted by medical examination or short possibilities to rest in a cell.
But finally they had allowed him to leave. Leave to go nowhere... to no one.
He leant against a streetlight feeling like he was bound to CTU, like he couldn ‘ t cut the bonds which tied him on this place, unable to free himself.
Something would happen, he could feel it in his guts and it made him squirm.

 
“Chase!”
His head shot up.
“What are you doing here?”
“Got a call. You... you shouldn ‘ t be alone now.”
“You mean I shouldn ‘ t leave the town.”
Andrew shrugged. “I guess Chloe was concerned in the first place,” he added softly.
Chase turned away not meeting his eyes.
“No need and certainly no need to talk anymore. If you want to know... go and ask her.”
“I ‘ m not interested in storytelling.” Andrew came closer. “I ‘ m interested in you.”
* * * * *

 
“Time to calm down, Chloe.”
Morris grinned when he went to her place after having thrown a glance down to the street. “Chase is talking with a certain hot guy, seems like he had everything under control.” “His name is Andrew,” Chloe snapped. “And I hope I ‘ m right to trust him in this.”
“Whatever.” Morris was eager to change the subject.
“You ‘ ve received that too?”
He pointed on the message blinking at the bottom of her monitor.
“I wasn ‘ t able to track or to make better sense of it... .”
Chloe stared on the screen hypnotized. Her fingers flew over the keyboard.
“Damnit!” She stared at Morris eyes open wide in shock.
“What... what...,” he startled.
“We ‘ re all... .” But she couldn ‘ t finish her sentence. The bomb already had been detonated and nothing could stop the explosion from blowing away the building and its surroundings, leaving nothing but destruction, the last salute of a man who wanted to be remembered at any costs. * * * * *

 
The sun threw its last golden glances over the white shining, splendid residence. A fresh wind came up from the desert announcing what the night might bring.
Connors watched the sunset proudly giving the impression as if the spectacle played out in front of his eyes would belong to him, if nature would fulfil his will by showing its beauty. Satisfied he stroke his hair back, admired the length of it, enjoyed the silken feeling between his fingers.
He held the silver strands against the light, delighted when they glistened and glimmered in tones from platinum to orange.
“What?”
He asked impatiently when he listened to the steps caused by someone climbing up the stairs to the patio. Everybody knew that he prefered to be alone during this time of the day. He needed some moments to recover from the work of a day, needed a rest before he could go on with the business of the night. “Sorry Senor.” The submissive voice reconciled him a little and he decided to encourage the man slightly without making it too easy to him.
“You know I don ‘ t want to be disturbed, Miguel. Thought you had understood what disobidience means to my men.”
He turned around a content smile on his face and met the frightened features of his servant. But not only his. A pair of emerald shining eyes locked with his.
“What the fuck?”
“You ‘ re dead, son of a bitch!”
“Not yet,” Chase replied. “Your plan was good but far away from perfect. I already had left CTU when the bomb went off.”
“Can ‘ t be. You at least deserve prison.”
“Thought so, but obviously opinions about my deed were different.”
Connors grinned. “Justice never disappoints me. Always coming up with new surprises.” He looked back to the sun setting the sky in red flames when it fought against the inevitable.
“So you want what, boy - kill me? Revenge?”
He shook his head. “Wouldn ‘ t change anything, neither would it bring Jack back. Don ‘ t know how you managed to trick my men to come inside but you will never be able to escape alive.” “Who tells you that I want to.”
“Ahh,” Connors laughed. “Noble hero. Lots of your kind in this profession, right? Anyway... I don ‘ t intend to die, life is too comfortable these days. And in case you hadn ‘ t recognized, armed men are everywhere around you, ordered to shoot everybody who seems to threaten my life or my belongings.” Chase smirked for the first time. “Well they had been easy to persuade that the american business partner you had expected for tonight arrived a little earlier.”
“Stupid bastards!” Connors cursed. “They will suffer for their incompetence.”
“I ‘ m sure they will.” Chase agreed, a sad smile still resting in the corners of his mouth.
Connors turned back regarding him awkwardly. “I still can ‘ t see what you want here. Obviously you hadn ‘ t managed to bring a weapon inside. My men are aiming at you. They don ‘ t care what you do or who you are. One wrong move and you will be a dead man.” He nooded to the roofs next to them where armed guards stood watching them patiently.
“So if you want to blame me... do it and run. For I ‘ m not tolerating anyone who thinks he can intrude my privacy.”
Chase ignored him and adressed Miguel. I ‘ m sorry man. You decided to work for the wrong person. Better try to go as long as it will still be possible.”
The servant threw a questioning glance to Connors who felt his anger overcoming his annoyance. “Dare it and you ‘ re dead at once,” he told Miguel and directed his attention back to Chase. “And what ‘ s concerning you... I have enough from your performances. They become worse each time. You are no fun without your squirrel-cheeked lover.” He scrutinized the younger man “Too bad you decided to shoot him.”
Chase stood motionless and Connors came closer to lose his patience.
“Say something, son of a bitch. You will regret your actions anyway.”

 
“I won ‘ t, Roger. I know what I ‘ m doing.”
“And what can that be!”
Conners crossed his arms across his chest and regarded him mockingly. Chase answered the gaze, his expression giving away no emotion before he finally spoke. “I want to see your fear... for once I want to see you scared... want you to feel what he had felt, what I felt... at least a small part of it.”
“And why should I?”
Connors smirked.
“Because you ‘ re going to hell.”
“I won ‘ t.”
“You will. It ‘ s too late... you can ‘ t escape your fate anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“You ‘ re a dead man as well as I am.”
Connors trembled in anger.
“Crazy bastard. Stop that shit.”
Chase slowly lowered his head and started to unbutton his light jacket.
“What are you doing?”
“Just showing you something.”
Connors slightly raised one hand in order to prevent his men from shooting when Chase opened his clothes.
“Holy shit... ! What is it?” Connors gasped.
Chase looked down on the tiny, regularly blinking appliance fixed carefully on the pale skin.
“I think you already have a good idea.”
Connors took a step forward, disbelief visible in his features.
“Why would you be that stupid. Why would you sacrifice yourself?”
“Because it is the only way to make sure I ‘ ll get you. And getting you has been all my life was about since you ‘ ve taken away from me each reason to live.” “Disarm it - at once!”
Chase smiled. “I can ‘ t... you can ‘ t stop it from turning this place and everything within a mile distance into an empty wasteland, the proof that men are capable of destruction of any kind. It ‘ s triggered from a safe place... in ... .” He glanced at his watch. “In a few seconds.”
“But... why... ?”
Chase shrugged. “For the first time I was glad, that you decided to choose an abandoned place for your stay.”

 
“Santa Maria...!” Miguel fell to his knees.
“Get up... idiot...,” Connors screamed at him before he turned to his closest men.
“Shoot the bastard. Shoot him in his head...and... and take care of the bomb...!”
His gaze met Chase ‘ s while he gesticulated wildly and Chase discovered the upcoming horror in the eyes of the taller man.

 
And he smiled when the bullets hit him, smiled brightly when the world became dazzling white.
* * * * *

 
Andrew watched the fireball in the distance.
And suddenly he answered Chase ‘ s smile which he had felt at once in the moment he had activated the deadly weapon. He dropped the inconspicuous trigger, leant his head back staring into the wide sky while the vibrations of the unleashed powers shook the earth under his feet. * * * * *

 
* * * * *

 
The little girl sat on the soft summer grass and combed her doll ‘ s hair with energetic movements.
She looked up when a shadow fell on her.
A dark shape watched her friendly.
“Hi Angela!”
She placed a hand above her eyes to protect them from the sun.
“This is a private garden,” she stated determined.
“Do my mums know that you ‘ re here?”
“Sure!”
Andrew nodded seriously. “You ‘ re a smart girl. Just like your dad had been. Look over there... .” He pointed backwards. “They are fixing a drink for you.”
“Okay?” Angela hesitated regarding him sceptically. “So... you ‘ re here to join us for a lemonade?”
“Not now!”
Andrew waved to Sharon who looked at him questioning.
“But maybe another day, if you wouldn ‘ t mind. Maybe one day you ‘ d like someone to tell you about your dad and I would be glad to do so.”
Angela considered the words for long moments.
“Maybe...,” she said and blinked when the two deep black eyes directed on her seemed to shine while they filled with wetness.
“I would like that.” Her green ones sparkled. “Yes... I think there will come a time... .
She took her doll with both hands and laid her head aside.
“You ‘ re okay by me. What ‘ s your name?”
“It ‘ s Andrew.”
He made a playful bow. “It ‘ s an honour for me to meet you, Angela.” With a relaxed grin he greeted into the direction of the two women who already were giggling amused.
“Then we ‘ ll see each other, Angela... see us soon!”
Andrew kept the smile while he left, the fingers of his right hand playing unconsciously with the silver chain he was carrying with him all the time. Maybe one day it should be Angela's... maybe...
* * * * *
nbsp;
The End